[ Download ] (8k) nakeddude.mp3 - "Cool! I hope it's a naked dude with a boner"

[ Download ] (7k) nakedstrangewhore.mp3 - From Family Guy: "Get naked you strange whore"

[ Download ] (26.5k) namecontroversy.wav - "Well there's some controversy as to how you pronounce his name."

[ Download ] (5.9k) narc.wav - Homer Simpson: "Narc"

[ Download ] (262k) nascardads.mp3 - A political ad to try and attract so called "Nascar Dads" to vote for George Bush.

[ Download ] (86.8k) nascarwine.wav - Some hick: "If you ever get involved in NASCAR, it's like, tasting a fine wine. Once you taste a fine wine, you don't want the three dollar stuff."

[ Download ] (19.5k) nasty.wav - "Oooooooo, nasty."

[ Download ] (409k) nationalanthemdisasters.mp3 - Drew and Mike play various disastrous attempts at singing the U.S. national anthem

[ Download ] (231k) nationallooters.mp3 - Ad for "National Looters Academy"

[ Download ] (15k) neat.mp3 - Peter Griffin from "Family Guy": "Oh yeah, that's uh, that's... that's neat. Um, is there going to be any nudity?"

[ Download ] (16.3k) newd.wav - John, a Scottish listener: "The man is newwwwwwd!"

[ Download ] (28.2k) newjackend.mp3 - A new ending to the San Francisco Jacks information line answering machine message: "So come on down, and join the San Francisco Jacks. An evening of poetry in motion. Where you too, may see, or even get your hands on, the thing itself."

[ Download ] (8k) newmoviestuff.mp3 - Britney Spears: "That's like a new movie and stuff"

[ Download ] (17.1k) neverheardofem.wav - Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra on SNL?: "Never heard of 'em, next!"

[ Download ] (246k) newjacks.mp3 - The 2004 version of the San Francisco Jacks outgoing voicemail message

[ Download ] (154k) new3scompany.mp3 - The reworked theme song for "Three's Company" after the death of John Ritter.

[ Download ] (48.6k) newsletter.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "Hmmm, you idea's intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter."

[ Download ] (6.0k) next.wav - "Next!"

[ Download ] (22k) nextcaller.wav - Peter Marolis, some random guy who went around pretending to be Constantine from "American Idol"'s cousin: "Hey, I know where this is going, next caller"

[ Download ] (87k) nicebush.wav - A couple of women that end up saying "Nice bush"

[ Download ] (8k) nicecomeback.mp3 - "Nice come back!"

[ Download ] (6k) nicepackage.mp3 - Some sportscaster: "Well, he's got a nice package"

[ Download ] (21k) nicepenis.wav - "By the way, nice penis."

[ Download ] (15k) niceshit.wav - Adam Sandler: "Here's a nice piece of shit!"

[ Download ] (103k) nicole911.mp3 - Nicole Simpson calls 911 when O.J. Simpson comes back

[ Download ] (26k) nicole9112.mp3 - Nicole Simpson calls 911 about O.J. Simpson a second time

[ Download ] (48k) nigger.mp3 - In a first, during a 2005 Harris poll, some woman calls Drew a "nigger"

[ Download ] (34.5k) nikita-assfingers.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I want you to put your fingers inside my a--."

[ Download ] (7k) nikita-bigboobs.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Look at these big boobs"

[ Download ] (16k) nikita-boobies.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You like my boobies?"

[ Download ] (16k) nikita-cute.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You are kind of cute"

[ Download ] (9k) nikita-doforliving.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "So what do you do for living?"

[ Download ] (9k) nikita-doingporn.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I am dreaming about doing porn"

[ Download ] (22.1k) nikita-frombehind.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I want you to fu-- me from behind."

[ Download ] (13k) nikita-fuckboobs.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Fu-- my boobs"

[ Download ] (9k) nikita-fuckher.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You can't f--k her, only I get to do that"

[ Download ] (7k) nikita-fun.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I can tell this is going to be fun"

[ Download ] (6k) nikita-getoverhere.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Here is how to get over here"

[ Download ] (7k) nikita-givelapdance.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You want me to give you lapdance?"

[ Download ] (11k) nikita-great.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Great!"

[ Download ] (17.2k) nikita-hardcock.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Your co-- is SO hard."

[ Download ] (6k) nikita-interestingk.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Mmmmm, interesting-k"

[ Download ] (1.7Mk) nikita-interview.mp3 - Drew and Mike use a feature on Nikita Denise's interactive porn DVD to conduct an "interview" with her

[ Download ] (6k) nikita-kelly.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "This is Kelly"

[ Download ] (14.9k) nikita-likeass.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Do you like my ass?"

[ Download ] (8k) nikita-likegirlfriend.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I think you are going to like my girlfriend"

[ Download ] (20k) nikita-likethat.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Ahhh, you like that?"

[ Download ] (11k) nikita-longlegs.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "How do you like your legs? Nice and long-k"

[ Download ] (3k) nikita-mmmhmmm.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Mmmhmmm"

[ Download ] (7k) nikita-neck.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Look at that beautiful neck"

[ Download ] (32.3k) nikita-neverforget.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I'll give you a lapdance you will never forget."

[ Download ] (6k) nikita-nice.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Ah, that feels nice"

[ Download ] (7k) nikita-niceplace.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Hmm, that's a nice place"

[ Download ] (8k) nikita-nikita.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Hi, I'm Nikita"

[ Download ] (6k) nikita-nono.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Noooo no no"

[ Download ] (4k) nikita-ooolala.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Ooooo la la"

[ Download ] (29k) nikita-panties.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I'm gonna take her panties off"

[ Download ] (18k) nikita-party.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I'm here with this really cute guy and we both want you to come over and party with us"

[ Download ] (2.7M) nikitaprankcall.mp3 - Drew and Mike call up a Comfort Inn where guys would pose in front of their hotel room window and it ended up mostly being prank calls using Nikita Denise drops.

[ Download ] (27.3k) nikita-sign.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD sighing.

[ Download ] (49.7k) nikita-slapass.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You want me to slap my ass little bit? *slap slap*"

[ Download ] (9k) nikita-spankboobies.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I want you to spank my boobies."

[ Download ] (40.2k) nikita-spankhole.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "And I will spank my butthole a little bit."

[ Download ] (25.8k) nikita-suckballs.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I wanna suck your ba--s." *slurp*

[ Download ] (23.1k) nikita-suckhard.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Suck it hard!"

[ Download ] (36k) nikita-tellme.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Just tell me what you want and I'll do anything"

[ Download ] (29k) nikita-panties.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "How does it feel to have two tongues around your --ck?"

[ Download ] (23.3k) nikita-touchbody.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Touching my body."

[ Download ] (31k) ninjamoves.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "Who's the only one here who knows illegal ninja moves from the government?"

[ Download ] (10.6k) noahah.wav - Drew: "No ah ah"

[ Download ] (23.9k) nodiggity.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "No diggity, check it!"

[ Download ] (16.9k) nofatchicks.wav - Homer Simpson: "No fat chicks"

[ Download ] (11.6k) noidea.wav - What sounds like Denis Leary : "I have no idea."

[ Download ] (108k) nokiawhore.mp3 - A Nokia contest during the 2002 Sugar Bowl where there is no shortage of whoring for Nokia

[ Download ] (6.6k) nolifeforce.wav - What sounds like a dead body hitting the floor

[ Download ] (344k) nomahaffey.mp3 - Ad to make sure Detroit residents didn't vote for MaryAnn Mahaffey after she stated that she would not be running for a seat on the Detroit City Council again due to medical problems

[ Download ] (63.5k) norippling.wav - Drew: "There are no rippling muscles in the room either, none"

[ Download ] (37k) normlaugh.mp3 - Norm Macdonald as "Death" on "Family Guy" laughing

[ Download ] (28k) nosubstance.wav - Ira Einhorn, the Unicorn Killer: "That's a rumor that has absolutely no substance."

[ Download ] (9k) notachristian.mp3 - Marguerite Perrin, the psycho from "Trading Spouses": "She's not a chritian! "

[ Download ] (32k) notattractive.mp3 - Adam Sandler: "I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. Ah you're, very good looking. I'm not attractive."

[ Download ] (10k) notaracist.mp3 - Michael Richards: "I'm not a racist, that's what's so insane about this"

[ Download ] (60k) notgay.wav - "I'm not bi, and I'm not gay. If you are going to speak on that subject, you can take a hike."

[ Download ] (41k) notintended.wav - Mike Clark: "This uh, messsage uhm, not intended for air by the way."

[ Download ] (10.3k) notmyjob.wav - "It's not my job."

[ Download ] (47.8k) notsick.wav - Peter Huffman: "You're not sick you dumb sof of a bitch."

[ Download ] (9.6k) nude.wav - Mike Clark demonstrating the correct way to pronounce "Nude".

[ Download ] (36) nudewoman.wav - Homer Simpson: "Why would I want to look at a nude woman I'm not even married to"

[ Download ] (9k) nudiemagazine.mp3 - "It's nudie magazine day!"

[ Download ] (39k) nuisance.wav - Peter Haskett: "I want him declared a nuisance. I want him taken away for the night."

[ Download ] (831k) oct9thcoffeespill.mp3 - Drew's October 9th, 2006 coffee spill

[ Download ] (75k) oface.wav - From "Office Space": "If things go well I might be showing her my Oh face. Oh! Oh! Oh! You know what I'm talkin' about. Oh!"

[ Download ] (112k) offdumbass.mp3 - A caller leaves a voicemail to Marc simply saying: "Hey you're off the air dumbass"

[ Download ] (157k) oj911.mp3 - O.J. Simpson calls 911 after his attempts to get a girl to go to rehab fail.

[ Download ] (230k) oj911basement.mp3 - The O.J. 911 Basement Tapes

[ Download ] (56k) ojdna.mp3 - A funny clip from the O.J. Simpson T.V. movie where O.J. is in a tele-conference with his lawyers regarding the DNA evidence results.

[ Download ] (22.2k) ojfriggin.wav - O.J. Simpson: "Stop friggin' following me."

[ Download ] (19.9k) ojguilty.wav - O.J. Simpson: "I'm 100% guilty"

[ Download ] (35.5k) ojjeans.mp3 - A longer version of getather.wav from the O.J. Simpson T.V. movie.

[ Download ] (20k) ojhelpyou.wav - O.J. Simpson from his roadrage trial: "Uh, ya man, what's going on? Can I help you?"

[ Download ] (28.2k) ojmessage.mp3 - O.J. Simpson's outgoing answering machine message: "Hello, it's yours truly. Unfortunately, I'm unavailable. Leave me a name and a message and a numBERRR, and I'll get back to you. Adios!"

[ Download ] (243k) ojouttakes2.mp3 - O.J.: The Interview Outtakes, Part 2

[ Download ] (13.5k) ojrehab.wav - From an O.J. Simpson 911 call: "You're going into a rehab."

[ Download ] (142k) ojtape.mp3 - O.J. Simpson makes an audio tape

[ Download ] (411k) ojwesleywillis.mp3 - The O.J. Simpson song by Wesley Willis.

[ Download ] (8.6k) ojwhitegirl.wav - From an O.J. Simpson 911 call: "She's a white girl."

[ Download ] (8k) ok.wav - Mrs. Jazzerzab: "Ok"

[ Download ] (13.5k) okmrwolters.wav - From an answering machine message the San Francisco Jacks guy left: "Okay Mr. Wolters?"

[ Download ] (20k) oldbagtitties.wav - "Old bag with old bag titties"

[ Download ] (33.6k) oldclothes.wav - Jimmy Kimmel: "Hey old people, keep your clothes on, it's disgusting!"

[ Download ] (14k) oldguy.mp3 - Chris Hansen on "Dateline NBC": "So you want this old guy doing you in your house, on your bed, or whereever?"

[ Download ] (233k) oldman.mp3 - Drew impersonates Neil Young and sings his song "Oldman"

[ Download ] (7k) oldmancreep.mp3 - "You're creeping me out old man"

[ Download ] (28k) oldschool.mp3 - Some excited baseball players swear during a postgame interview.

[ Download ] (281k) olympicgayperview.mp3 - Gay Per View: Olympic Edition

[ Download ] (9.8k) oooo.wav - Mike Babone?: "Ooooooo!"

[ Download ] (9k) ooofantastic.mp3 - Some flamer from MTV's "Next": "Ooooo, fantastic!"

[ Download ] (20k) ooojsimpson.wav - O.J. Simpson at his roadrage trial: "Ooooooohhh J. Simpson"

[ Download ] (770k) openmic.mp3 - An open microphone during a commercial break and a commercial that fails to automatically play leads listeners to hear one of the most boring conversations ever that involves amazingly no swearing.

[ Download ] (15.7k) opinion.wav - Charlie Sheen?: "I don't recall asking your opinion."

[ Download ] (55.7k) oprahbitchfork.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "I want you to stop holding your fork like that. Why are you 40 years old and you hold your fork like this?"

[ Download ] (60.5k) - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "I couldn't believe that at his age, he is around in public with his hair parted down the middle."

[ Download ] (11k) oprahbitchkiss.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "Why don't you kiss me?"

[ Download ] (56k) oprahbitchsept11.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "September 11th, major fight because John left the table early."

[ Download ] (50.7k) oprahbitchsoda.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "You've had enough, give me that. You have had enough soda today, don't start fighting with me!"

[ Download ] (14.8k) oprahbitchturnoff.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "Turn off the water."

[ Download ] (38k) oprahbitchwater.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "Nooooo! You've had your limit today, you drink water."

[ Download ] (34.6k) oprahbitchwipe.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "How are you gonna wipe a table with this little- it's not even wet!"

[ Download ] (12k) oprahgay.mp3 - Mark Steines and Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight: "Alright Mary, so we got this straight, Oprah and Gail?"
(both of them together) "GAY!"

[ Download ] (17k) oprahinbuilding.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey, referring to Tom Cruise: "He's in the building!"

[ Download ] (17k) oprahtomcruise.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Please welcome, Tom Cruuuuuise!"

[ Download ] (399k) orsonwelles.mp3 - Orson Welles makes doing a voiceover unnecessarily difficult.

[ Download ] (20.7k) ouchbloody.wav - "Ouch, bloody!"

[ Download ] (215k) outro.mp3 - The outro played at the end of every live Drew and Mike show (current as of Aug 2006), includes the "Gratuitous Rock Star Thank You"

[ Download ] (22.7k) outrageous.wav - Lionel Richie: "Outrageous!"

[ Download ] (101k) outsourcing.mp3 - A short clip from "The Simpsons" promoting "the best kind of sourcing, outsourcing!"

[ Download ] (109k) pacinobarrel1.mp3 - A prank call to Cracker Barrel using Al Pacino clips.

[ Download ] (231k) pacinobarrel2.mp3 - Another prank call to Cracker Barrel using Al Pacino clips.

[ Download ] (215k) pacinocardealer.mp3 - A prank call to a car dealer using Al Pacino clips.

[ Download ] (340k) pacinofurniture.mp3 - A prank call to Stuckey's Furniture using Al Pacino clips.

[ Download ] (307k) pacinolimoguy.mp3 - A prank call to the limo guy using Al Pacino clips.

[ Download ] (238k) pacinostuckeybros.mp3 - A prank call to Stuckey Brothers using Al Pacino clips.

[ Download ] (47k) painful.wav - Anna Nicole Smith: "Whoa. Why would they do that? Don't they think that's kinda painful?"

[ Download ] (37k) paintjob.wav - "I don't want no more kids but I'll give you a paintjob."

[ Download ] (41k) pairjugs.wav - Rodney Dangerfield: "The last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowin' on 'em."

[ Download ] (12k) paltrow.wav - Gwenyth Paltrow at the Oscars: "Bruce Paltrow"

[ Download ] (46.1k) pantiesdown.wav - Mike Clark playing the part of some dirty old man as he re-enacts an incident at a strip club that he witnessed long ago: "I tell you what, you take them panties down you're gonna bring this whole house down."

[ Download ] (34k) paradisedrewmike.mp3 - Mark Thompson, the voice of "Paradise Hotel", makes a promo for Drew and Mike

[ Download ] (99k) paradisedrewmike2.wav - The second promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

[ Download ] (37k) paradisedrewmike3.mp3 - The third promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

[ Download ] (32k) paradisedrewmike4.mp3 - The fourth promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

[ Download ] (36k) paradisedrewmike5.mp3 - The fifth promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

[ Download ] (53k) parchment.wav - Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons": "It's not important how old you are on parchment, it's how old you feel in the humers"

[ Download ] (28k) partyanimal.wav - "You says you're a party animal, you look like an animal"

[ Download ] (69.3k) parisjacks.mp3 - A segment of the recording as heard when calling the information line for the Paris Jacks.

[ Download ] (101k) parksfuneralpreacher.mp3 - Preacher during the Rosa Parks funeral saying "Thank You" in a bunch of different languages

[ Download ] (27.2k) partoffamily.wav - From a radio promo for Harper's show that Drew did not like at all: "It's I've become part of their family and they're part of my family."

[ Download ] (1.2M) patobrien.mp3 - Drew and Mike listen to the infamous Pat O'Brien sex voicemails

[ Download ] (59k) paulafart.wav - Paula Abdul: "Hi, this is Paula Abdul. (fart sound) (she stutters) Sorry... And I just farted really loud"

[ Download ] (31k) paulahigh.mp3 - Paula Abdul on "American Idol" sounding rather out of it

[ Download ] (26k) paythefiddler.wav - Chris Farley: "Time to pay the fiddler whore!"

[ Download ] (23k) peedinthis.mp3 - Clip from "Nanny 911" about some kid peeing in something

[ Download ] (13k) penishard.mp3 - Some sports figure, I forget who exactly: "He basically told me either keep my penis hard or he was gonna beat me"

[ Download ] (41.4k) penisinside.wav - Drew caught uttering a rather unfortunate phrase: "I just didn't feel I was worth anything unless there was a penis inside me."

[ Download ] (86k) penisparty.wav - "This penis party has got to go. Hey hey, ho ho"

[ Download ] (38k) penissoft.wav - From Chappelle's Show: "That crazy dancin' making my penis soft."

[ Download ] (37.9k) perfectforthenight.wav - From the Budweiser Best Man commercial: "She's not Miss Perfect, she's Miss Perfect for the night!"

[ Download ] (422.4k) pesciarnoldsamallinone.mp3 - A prank call to some clueless guy where the caller uses Joe Pesci, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Samuel L. Jackson clips.

[ Download ] (107k) pescidiscount.mp3 - A prank call to Discount Tire Company using Joe Pesci clips.

[ Download ] (101k) pesciflustered.mp3 - A prank call to an easily flustered guy using Joe Pesci clips.

[ Download ] (77k) pescigirl.mp3 - A prank call to some flustered girl using Joe Pesci clips

[ Download ] (209k) pescimoney.mp3 - A prank call using Joe Pesci clips and he wants his money back badly.

[ Download ] (144k) pescisomeguy.mp3 - A prank call to some guy using Joe Pesci clips.

[ Download ] (213k) pescisuntires.mp3 - A prank call to Sun Tires using Joe Pesci clips.

[ Download ] (25k) packbags.wav - Peter Marolis, some random guy who went around pretending to Constantine from "American Idol"'s cousin: "Oh, he's gone. Pack your bags buddy"

[ Download ] (56.2k) peterspasm.wav - Peter Haskett just spasming in general.

[ Download ] (148k) phasedjacks.mp3 - Two different recordings from the San Francisco Jacks information line in phased action.

[ Download ] (58k) phonegaybar.wav - "Now hang up the phone alright, 'cause there's a lot of other guys at the gay bar that need to use it, alright?"

[ Download ] (66k) phonenancyboy.wav - "Hang up the phone nancy boy. Save your money for when you call 1-900-Make out with a guy!" *crowd cheers*

[ Download ] (61k) pianoprodigy.wav - That piano "prodigy" that Mike Clark loves does his thing on a piano

[ Download ] (22k) picknose.wav - Peter Marolis, some random guy who went around pretending to Constantine from "American Idol"'s cousin: "And this coming from a guy whose only talent is uh, picking his nose with his big toe"

[ Download ] (50.1k) pieceofazz.wav - Chris Farley: "That is one piece of AZZSSHHH."

[ Download ] (22k) pieceofcrap.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "It's a piece of crap, it doesn't work"

[ Download ] (19k) piehole.wav - Robert DeNiro in "This Boy's Life": "Shut your goddamn piehole!"

[ Download ] (19k) piehole2.wav - Robert DeNiro in "This Boy's Life": "Now just shut your goddamn piehole!"

[ Download ] (37k) pigskin.wav - Uncle Rico from "Napoleon Dynamite": "Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile"

[ Download ] (130k) pigsnot.mp3 - Anna Nicole Smith talking on the phone to her son Daniel and asking him what he had to eat

[ Download ] (24k) pilottreat.mp3 - Stone Phillips on "Dateline NBC": "If you have a pilot's license, it's a real treat you can offer friends: a bird's eye view of our nation's most beautiful, rugged scenery"

[ Download ] (300k) pindick.mp3 - Some political ads from the heated campaign between "Pindick" and "Shyster"

[ Download ] (95k) pissedditka.mp3 - Mike Ditka vs a "gutless wonder" call in Chicago

[ Download ] (4.9M) pistonsharrispoll.mp3 - Drew and Mike and a particularly good Harris Poll about the brawl at the Palace back in October 2004

[ Download ] (60.8k) planefuel.wav - Some dumb blonde reporter posing a question about the Concorde crash outside of Paris: "Presumably, this - this plane was loaded up with fuel when - when this happened?"

[ Download ] (45k) planefuel.mp3 - Frank Turner takes his own turn at recreating the "this plane was loaded up with fuel when this happened?" incident

[ Download ] (27k) playalong.wav - Mr. Burns: "Play along chubsy, there's a pie in it for you."

[ Download ] (7k) playahata.mp3 - From the movie "Gigli": "Don't be a playa hatea!"

[ Download ] (78k) playoffs.wav - A very distressed coach: "Uh, Playoffs?! Don't talk about- playoffs? You kiddin' me? Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game!"

[ Download ] (416k) politicallycorrectholiday.mp3 - An ad promoting the album, "Have Yourself A Little Politically Correct Holiday"

[ Download ] (11k) poopsmell.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Why does poop smell? And, sometimes it's worse than others"

[ Download ] (26k) pornomusic.mp3 - The porno music sometimes heard on Drew and Mike when things get raunchy

[ Download ] (13k) positions.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "I switch positions a lot, so you're bound to learn a few new tricks"

[ Download ] (18k) potty.mp3 - "I also take my time when I use the potty. Sometimes I even like to look at a picture book." *laughs*

[ Download ] (42.1k) powerfulenemy.wav - Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons": "You've made a powerful enemy today my friend."

[ Download ] (8k) preacheravailable.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "I make my ass very available"

[ Download ] (5k) preacherbeotch.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "Beeeotch!"

[ Download ] (7k) preacherbitch.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "Stupid bitch"

[ Download ] (104k) preacherdevilliar.mp3 - The swearing "preacher" ranting at a caller: "Who created your ass? I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Devil is a motherfucking liar, so you know I ain't worried. Beeeotch! Stupid bitch. Look at that. I'm provoking that, huh? That- I'm making motherfuckers just hate God more- I'm provoking that huh?"
(laughs)
"You God damn Devil worshipper, you ain't got no excuse. Motherfucker, you ain't- you ain't coming in no- you comin' in the name of Satan"

[ Download ] (14k) preacherholyspirit.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, BEEEOTCH!"

[ Download ] (59k) preachernameofjesus.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "You- you ain't callin'- you ain't hearin' me huh? You didn't get it again, I'll say it again. I come in the name of Jesus, repeat after my bitch, I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. God Almighty, you know, ruler of Heaven and Earth, and every God damn thing in between. You understand me now?"

[ Download ] (52k) preachertrustindevil.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "You trust in the Devil huh? Well if God sent the Devil in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, then motherfucker, you fucked up huh? You fucked up huh? You know your ass is doomed. What you got to see? If you don't know shit to speaking on this whole um, topic i'm bringing up, shut your God damn ass up." "

[ Download ] (14k) presidentspeaking.mp3 - "You will not speak when President is speaking!"

[ Download ] (1.0M) pressconference.mp3 - Drew puts himself in the place of Whitehouse Press Secretary Scott McLellan and answers things the way he thinks should be answered

[ Download ] (16k) prettycool.wav - Kip Dynamite: "That's pretty cool I guess"

[ Download ] (24.8k) prettydamngay.wav - "You are pretty damn gay."

[ Download ] (13k) prettydamngay.mp3 - : "Face it chief, you are pretty damn gay"

[ Download ] (16k) prettygood.wav - Kip Dynamite: "That seems pretty good"

[ Download ] (132k) procox.mp3 - The pro-Mike Cox political ad.

[ Download ] (313k) promises.mp3 - The Mike Clark promises song

[ Download ] (39.8k) protein.wav - Richard Hatch, a gay contestant on TV's "Survivor": "You're gonna be so damn full of protein after this meal you won't know what to do with yourself."

[ Download ] (8k) pubichair.mp3 - Christian Applegate in "Anchorman": "You have way too much pubic hair"

[ Download ] (29.3k) pubiccoke.wav - Anita Hill: "Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?"

[ Download ] (143k) pulpfiction.mp3 - A promo for the edited version of "Pulp Fiction" that is more suitable to air on network television.

[ Download ] (42.8k) pullignite.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Our nation must come together." (farts) "To ignite." (fart)

[ Download ] (40.6k) pulllips.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Read my lips" (farts)

[ Download ] (29.4k) pullosama.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Osama" (farts) "Your momma"

[ Download ] (35.4k) pullprimeminister.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Mr. Prime Minister" (farts)

[ Download ] (45.6k) pullproclamation.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: (farts) "That's what I call the flatulation proclamation"

[ Download ] (60k) pullsaddam.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Hey Saddam, here's a weapon of mass destruction" (farts and then laughs)

[ Download ] (39k) pullshit.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: (farts) "American I just sh-- in my pants"

[ Download ] (34.1k) pullinout.wav - Some trash from a TV talk show: "You ain't puttin' out enough for me so I gotta go somewheres."

[ Download ] (109k) pullwrist.mp3 - Drew recalls a story about a mentally challenged guy who liked to masturbate

[ Download ] (15k) pumping.wav - A victim of a Chris Farley prank call doing a little improvising of his own: "I guess he's pumping somebody."

[ Download ] (12.3k) punch.wav - Somebody getting slugged from the "Happy Gilmore" Adam Sandler flic I do believe.

[ Download ] (30k) punchmouth.wav - Will Ferrell as "Ron Burgundy": "If you were a man I would punch you. I would punch you right in the mouth"

[ Download ] (156k) python.mp3 - Carolyn Clifford from WXYZ makes a gaffe after reporting on a story involving a python

[ Download ] (3k) questionmarkfart.mp3 - What's being called the question mark fart

[ Download ] (7k) quityou.mp3 - Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain": "I wish I knew how to quit you"

[ Download ] (7k) quityou2.mp3 - Someone associated with the making of "Brokeback Mountain" accepting an award: "I wish I knew how to quit you"

[ Download ] (5.6k) quiet.wav - A guy yelling at two psycho Michigan twins on an airplane flight: "Quiet!"

[ Download ] (36k) quitepungent.wav - Will Ferrell as "Ron Burgundy": "It's quite pungent. It stings the nostrils"

[ Download ] (8k) racist.mp3 - "I say one thing and i'm a racist"

[ Download ] (37.5k) radioshow.wav - Mr. Burns from the Simpsons: "Great heavens! What kind of radio show is this?"

[ Download ] (47k) raggityass.wav - "Shut your raggity ass up and sit the *beep* down."

[ Download ] (36k) raisehell.wav - Marisleysis Gonzalez: "If something happens to this boy, I'll raise hell!"

[ Download ] (22.4k) rayasshole.wav - Raymond Huffman: "Heh hah hah hah, *beepin* asshole"

[ Download ] (207k) raycharles.mp3 - Ray Charles is forced to deal with a heckler who apparently jumps on stage during a live performance.

[ Download ] (7k) readyhavedick.mp3 - I think this is one of the predators from Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "Are you ready to have my di-- in your mouth?"

[ Download ] (13.1k) reallytouching.wav - Jim Harper: "It's really touching."

[ Download ] (178k) realmenofgenius.mp3 - The Drew and Mike version of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials

[ Download ] (14.1k) recognize.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "Recognize!"

[ Download ] (12k) rectum.mp3 - Chris Farley: "He says, rectum, damn near killed 'em!

[ Download ] (9k) relaxanus.mp3 - Dr. House from Tv's "House": "I need you to relax your anus"

[ Download ] (25k) removepanties.wav - "It would be my honour to remove your panties."

[ Download ] (26.6k) renee.wav - "Who the fu-- is Renee Zellweger?"

[ Download ] (50k) repeat.wav - Homer Simpson: "Can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the uh, things?"

[ Download ] (27k) respectcock.wav - Tom Cruise in "Magnolia": "Respect, the cock!"

[ Download ] (15.7k) reverbfart.wav - The reverb fart. Usually used when referring to women like Hillary Clinton.

[ Download ] (39k) rewind.wav - "You gotta check your tone girl. Rewind your statement before I fast forward your ass whipping"

[ Download ] (30.8k) richardyousuck.mp3 - A portion of a song about how much Richard from Survivor sucks

[ Download ] (17.8k) richstupid.wav - Richard Hatch from TV's Survivor: "That was the stupidest thing I ever heard."

[ Download ] (10k) rideabike.mp3 - Seth Rogen from "The 40 Year Old Virgin": "Yeah everyone rides a bike, when they're f--king six"

[ Download ] (22.9k) ridiculous.wav - Mr. Rogers: "This is perfectly ridiculous."

[ Download ] (7k) ridiculous.mp3 - A girl on Dr. Phil's television show complaining about fat people that go on talk shows and get praised for losing weight, meanwhile, she's skinny already and not getting any praise: "This is ridiculous!"

[ Download ] (20k) rightontheface.mp3 - A reporter on WXYZ doing a story about an ice sculptor: (sound of ice cutting) "Little more- there we go! Right on the face. That's what i'm talking about"

[ Download ] (24.6k) rippling.wav - Allegedly gay fighter in a Bruce Lee movie: "Oooooh! What rippling muscles!"

[ Download ] (81k) riptorndrunk.mp3 - Rip Torn is drunk and disorderly at a police station

[ Download ] (33k) rocker.wav - David Spade: "I don't like that crap, I'm a rocker man. Through and through."

[ Download ] (58.8k) rod.wav - Rod, the guy who put up a personal ad on a billboard in Times Square: "Hey this is Rod, and uhm, this is what I sound like, so, I hope to hear from you. Take care."

[ Download ] (377k) robertblake.mp3 - Robert Blake in a jailhouse interview with Barbara Walters. Who knew? He's gay!

[ Download ] (51.4k) rockshelter.wav - The dunce named Debbie from an episode of "Survivor": "We got enough rocks here too. We could build a pretty decent shelter just usin' rocks!"

[ Download ] (74.0k) rollandrock.mid - The Rolland Rock song used whenever the traffic report is being done on the program.

[ Download ] (30k) romanceinside.wav - Borat from "Da Ali G Show" on an episode of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "I would like to make romance inside of her."

[ Download ] (110k) roywilliams.mp3 - Kansas Coach Roy Williams going off on a reporter.

[ Download ] (17k) runningforjesus.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "I'm not running for Jesus."

[ Download ] (82.3k) saddamchildren.wav - "By all accounts Saddam is a charming and gregarious individual. He likes to tell jokes and is supposedly good with children."

[ Download ] (41k) saddamflowers.wav - "To enhance his appealing image, Saddam likes to be surrounded by flowers."

[ Download ] (36k) saddamthrob.wav - "It's no secret why Saddam is Iraq's biggest heart throb."

[ Download ] (37k) saddestchapter.wav - Homer Simpson: "This closes the saddest chapter in American history"

[ Download ] (28.1k) saidteste.wav - "You realize, you just said teste?"

[ Download ] (1.3M) saladstory.mp3 - The extended version Mike Clark's salad story

[ Download ] (164k) samjackson1.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #1.

[ Download ] (81.2k) samjackson2.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #2.

[ Download ] (149k) samjackson3.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #3.

[ Download ] (56.3k) samjackson4.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #4.

[ Download ] (58k) samjackson5.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #5.

[ Download ] (2.4M) santa.mp3 - D&M relive the first person they talked to who had their named changed to "Santa Claus"

[ Download ] (25.1k) sarcasm.wav - Jack Black: "Is that that new thing called sarcasm?"

[ Download ] (14k) sausagefest.mp3 - "It's the biggest sausagefest on Earth."
"It's the international house of sausage"

[ Download ] (15k) saythat.wav - Kip Dynamite: "You can say that again"

[ Download ] (14.9k) schlong.wav - Sound used whenever talk turns to someone who may have a massive erection.

[ Download ] (298k) scottvanpelt.mp3 - Scott Van Pelt from ESPN's "SportsCenter" leaves a voicemail to some skank he met

[ Download ] (31k) scoutcamp.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "I already made like infinity of those at scout camp"

[ Download ] (36k) screamingbullshit.wav - Drew screaming "BULLSH--!"

[ Download ] (38.7k) screech.wav - Raymond Huffman: "I don't want to hurt you."
Peter Haskett: "You've been- you've been screeching for an hour, now stop it!"

[ Download ] (53k) screwoscars.wav - Dunkelman from "American Idol": "Ahhhh, man. Screw the Oscars, that was awesome."

[ Download ] (16k) seacrestin.wav - Ryan Seacrest from "American Idol": "Seacrest In"

[ Download ] (21k) seacrestout.wav - Ryan Seacrest from "American Idol": "Seacrest OUT!"

[ Download ] (21k) secretsauce.mp3 - Eddie Murphy in "Nutty Professor II: The Klumps": "I bet you could stand for a big ol' Whopper right now huh? Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce. C'mon!"

[ Download ] (24.3k) seeboobs.wav - "C'mere, I want you to see my boobs!"

[ Download ] (33.3k) seebust.wav - Some photographer?: "Put your other hand up higher so I can see your bust."

[ Download ] (41.3k) seegetiton.wav - "I would just like to see the two of you get it on."

[ Download ] (15k) seeweiner.wav - Tracy Morgan from SNL: "I don't wanna see your weiner!"

[ Download ] (21.7k) seeya.wav - Adam Sandler: "Yeah alright, I'll see you guys there." *fart noise*

[ Download ] (2.7M) selectslut.mp3 - Drew and Mike call the "Select A Slut" porn line.

[ Download ] (36k) sellingass.wav - "I'm selling my ass and that's how it's gonna be!"

[ Download ] (38.6k) semen.wav - Al Michaels: "E.D., what's shakin' down there?" Eric Dickerson: "Semen. Back to you Al."

[ Download ] (135k) sendinclowns.mp3 - Krusty from the "Simpsons" sings "Send In The Clowns".

[ Download ] (57k) seniorcitizens.wav - "Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose"

[ Download ] (8k) sethrogen.mp3 - Seth Rogen's weird laugh

[ Download ] (13k) sexinmouth.mp3 - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "She was voted uh best sex in mouth"

[ Download ] (95k) sexualrelations.wav - Former U.S. President Bill Clintin: "I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I need to have sexual relations with Miss Lewinksi. And I worked on her 'til pretty late last night."

[ Download ] (7k) sexwithchics.mp3 - Dax Shepard in Idiocracy: "I like havin' sex with chics"

[ Download ] (21k) sexytime.wav - The Borat character from "Da Ali G Show": "It's sexy time, yeah!"

[ Download ] (210k) sfjacks2003.mp3 - The San Francisco Jacks answering machine message for April 2003.

[ Download ] (7k) shadeson.mp3 - George W. Bush: "You gonna ask that question with those shades on?"

[ Download ] (6k) shakealeg.mp3 - "Shake a leg woman!"

[ Download ] (34.8k) shakemofo.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "Yo, boom boom, shake da mofo room"

[ Download ] (58.3k) shaq.wav - This is apparently the outgoing message on Shaquille O'Neal's answering machine: "You know what to do, niggaaaahhhhhhhahhhahhhahhwoooooo"

[ Download ] (17.3k) shareheart.wav - "Share your heart with Drew."

[ Download ] (3.3M) sharkvlad.mp3 - D&M call Vladimir Vlad about his shark repellent wet suit

[ Download ] (49.4k) shatner.wav - Snippet of William Shatner writhing in pain from the lovetrek clip

[ Download ] (68k) shatner911.mp3 - William Shatner calls 911 after he discovers his "blue wife" at the bottom of his pool

[ Download ] (5k) shavedownthere.mp3 - Chris Hansen in Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "Do you shave down there?"

[ Download ] (231k) shawneckardt.mp3 - The Shawn Eckardt Body Guarding and Counter-Intelligence Agency

[ Download ] (6k) shazamm.mp3 - Some flamer from MTV's "Next": "Shazamm!"

[ Download ] (8k) shedied.mp3 - Vin Diesel in "Man Apart": "What would you do if she DIED?!"

[ Download ] (14k) sheedball.wav - Rasheed Wallace: "The ball don't lie"

[ Download ] (73.2k) sheisruff.wav - From the Budweiser Best Man commercial: "She is... ooooh... she is ruff! Ruff. Ruff."

[ Download ] (14k) shewasaho.mp3 - From "The 40 Year Old Virgin": "Yeah I remember that girl, she was a ho. Fo' sho."

[ Download ] (37k) shitkids.wav - Sh-- out a bunch of kids and you're bound to put a few pounds"

[ Download ] (61k) shoother911.mp3 - A woman calls about her out of control 12 year old and the dispatcher replies with "Ok, did you want us to come over and shoot her?"

[ Download ] (61k) shortdick.wav - "So if a short dick dude came at you, you like, you found out he had a short dick, you'd still go ahead and get active with him?"

[ Download ] (4k) shotgun.mp3 - Steve Carell in "The Office": "Shotgun!"

[ Download ] (17.3k) showboobs.wav - Spring Breakers from an episode of the Simpsons: "Show us your boobs!"

[ Download ] (15k) showbreasts.wav - "Just shut up and show your breasts."

[ Download ] (27.9k) showoffy.wav - From the Budweiser Best Man commercial: "That's obnoxious, so show-offy."

[ Download ] (18k) showbreasts.wav - "Just shut up and show your breasts."

[ Download ] (34.2k) shutmouth.wav - Peter Haskett: "Would you mind shutting your mouth you stupid son of a bitch!"

[ Download ] (10.9k) shutup.wav - Adam Sandler: "Shut up!"

[ Download ] (11k) shutup2.wav - Denis Leary: "Will you shut up!"

[ Download ] (29.3k) shutup3.wav - Robert DeNiro yelling "Shut up!" a lot?

[ Download ] (30k) shutup4.wav - Drew yelling "SHUT UP! GOD!"

[ Download ] (55k) shutup5.wav - Drew yelling "Shut Up!" a lot with a bonus "I hate you" at the end

[ Download ] (33.9k) shutupmovie.wav - Adam Sandler: "Shut up this movie SUCKS!"

[ Download ] (7k) shutupoldman.mp3 - Mr. T: "Shut up old man, I ain't goin' no where"

[ Download ] (63k) sickpeople.mp3 - A very irate sports coach.

[ Download ] (97.4k) sitdownwhore.wav - From the "Jerry Springer Show", the crowd chanting "Sit down whore!"

[ Download ] (1.2M) silverdome.mp3 - D&M reliving memories of the Pontiac Silverdome

[ Download ] (227k) siskelebert.mp3 - Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert fight while trying to film a promo for their show

[ Download ] (8.8k) skank.wav - "Skank!!"

[ Download ] (34k) skankyhoe.wav - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: "You remind me of Don Ho's daughter, skanky hoe!"

[ Download ] (12k) skankylookingcokewhore.mp3 - Dr. Phil McGraw: "Now that is one skanky looking coke whore"

[ Download ] (6k) skidmarks.mp3 - "You see the skid marks right there"

[ Download ] (8k) skidmarks2.mp3 - "Are there two skid marks or just that one set of skid marks?"

[ Download ] (6k) skidmarks3.mp3 - "You want me to take pictures of the skid marks?"

[ Download ] (8k) skidmarks4.mp3 - "And that's the skid marks right there. You can see what she did"

[ Download ] (6k) skidmarks5.mp3 - "We'll take pictures of the skid marks there"

[ Download ] (242k) slash.mp3 - The "Slash" cologne commercial

[ Download ] (24k) sleepseverybody.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "That girl sleeps with everybody."

[ Download ] (9k) sleeveofwizard.mp3 - Borat: "Her virgine hang like sleeve of wizard"

[ Download ] (22k) sleptbrother.wav - Larry King: "I slept with my brother. I didn't have any problems."

[ Download ] (10k) sloppymouth.mp3 - "You got your sloppy mouth all over my breasteseseses"

[ Download ] (23.7k) slutslut.wav - "A.K.A. little miss slut-slut."

[ Download ] (28.2k) smartest.wav - Adam Sandler: "I am the smartest man alive!"

[ Download ] (33.4k) smellfart.wav - Chuck Berry letting loose: *large fart sound* "You can smell my fart".

[ Download ] (31.2k) smelllikeshit.wav - The Borat character from "Da Ali G Show": "There is a smell. It smell like-a shit!"

[ Download ] (67.2k) smeltit.wav - Ali G from "Da Ali G Show": "Is the definition 'Whoever smelt it, dealt it' or is it 'Whoever said the rhyme committed the crime'?"

[ Download ] (73.4k) smile.wav - Some photographer?: "Okay good, now gimme a little smile, come on now. *camera click* Okay."

[ Download ] (262k) smokecrack.wav - "Uh, it could have been that crack I smoked earlier I guess."

[ Download ] (37k) smokedpot.wav - Homer Simpson: "Oh, I could've smoked that pot"

[ Download ] (41k) snoopmessage.mp3 - Snoop Dogg's voicemail to Dieter Zetsche requesting a new 300C: "Yo, what up? This is big Snoop Dogg, trying to put these new legs down for this new 300C. What I gotta' do to get that brand new C up outta' you? Get back in contact with my nephew so he can make it happen, man it's official like a referee with a whistle. If you want this car to blow, give to me. This is Snoop Dogg. Preach!"

[ Download ] (37.8k) societyfault.wav - Homer Simpson: "Which is society's fault because..."

[ Download ] (37k) soblack.mp3 - Wolf Blitzer on CNN's "The Situation Room" during around the clock Hurricane Katrina coverage: "So many of these people- almost all of them that we see, are so poor, and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold."

[ Download ] (53.5k) soclever.wav - Larry David from "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "Hahaha, how did you ever come up with something like that? You are so clever."

[ Download ] (40.2k) socute.wav - The gay Austrian character on "Da Ali G Show": "You got a kinda very manly look. When did you get to be so cute?"

[ Download ] (30k) sodomy.wav - Marv Albert's taxi driver?: "All of the sodomy that was committed was volunteered."

[ Download ] (37.1k) sofucked.wav - Mike in reference to the blowhorn Drew sometimes like to blow off on the air: "That thing is so f---ed!"

[ Download ] (31k) sofuckinghot.wav - Pat O'Brien from his sex voicemails: "You are so ----ing hot"

[ Download ] (75k) sogay.wav - "I'm super gay, I'm mega, I'm gay-normous. I'm SO, GAY."

[ Download ] (28k) sogay2.wav - "That guy is so gay my ass hurts"

[ Download ] (21k) sohot.wav - John Madden: "I think that the guy is so hot."

[ Download ] (31k) solovesher.wav - Mike in reference to Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon: "Aw man, he so loves her. Wow."

[ Download ] (17.6k) somelanguage.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "That's some language ya got there!"

[ Download ] (13.6k) somethinggay.wav - Mr. Burns from the Simpsons: "Something gay no doubt"

[ Download ] (16.2k) someweiner.wav - Alec Baldwin from SNL: "Is that some weiner or what?"

[ Download ] (85k) sommy.wav - A clip of Canadian police talking to "Sommy" over the phone, which turned out just to be a kid playing a prank on his infinitely stupid parents in Emeryville, Ontario.

[ Download ] (46k) sommy2.wav - "Sommy" recites the alphabet as he toys with police.

[ Download ] (37.5k) sonsofbitches.wav - Richard Hatch, a contestant on TV's Survivor: "Which one of you sons of bitches wrote my name on a card last night?"

[ Download ] (8k) sorry.wav - Simon from "American Idol": "Sorry."

[ Download ] (35k) sorry2.wav - A second version of Simon from "American Idol" saying "Sorry".

[ Download ] (26k) sorryloss.wav - Dylan from "Beverly Hills 90210": "Tell him that I'm very sorry for his loss."

[ Download ] (7k) sorrynext.mp3 - Some flamer on MTV's "Next": "I'm sorry but, next!"

[ Download ] (25.1k) sosmart.mp3 - Homer Simpson: "I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

[ Download ] (13k) soulpatrol.mp3 - Taylor Hicks, the winner of the fifth season of "American Idol", yelling out his retarded "Soul Patrol!"

[ Download ] (15.5k) soundlikedick.wav - "I sound like a dick!"

[ Download ] (35.3k) soundsgood.wav - Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber": "Mmmm, that sounds good. I'll have that."

[ Download ] (27.5k) soundshot.wav - Jack Black in "Shallow Hal"?: *laughs* "She sounds hot!"

[ Download ] (61.2k) spaceout.mp3 - The intro from Dreamweaver, which is used whenever people are beginning to spaceout on the program. Usually when someone is going on and on about a boring subject or when someone goes into far greater detail than necessary.

[ Download ] (16.5k) spankin.wav - "Somebody wants a spankin'."

[ Download ] (77k) spartanvictory.mp3 - Mike Clark leaves a gloating voicemail to Wolters after a Spartan victory over the Wolverines presumably.

[ Download ] (26.8k) spartyon.wav - Some random drunk MSU student: "Sparty on! Ahhhhhhhh!"

[ Download ] (7k) speakspanish.mp3 - Will Ferrell in "Anchorman": "You know I don't speak Spanish"

[ Download ] (68k) spellingbeecomedian.mp3 - Some comedian at a spelling bee spits out a Napoleon Dynamite quote before spelling his word

[ Download ] (29.3k) sports.wav - Homer Simpson clip that used to be played often before sports news segments: "Sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports!"

[ Download ] (479k) sportsfantasy.mp3 - Another Mike Clark golf fantasy and Drew's Pistons fantasy

[ Download ] (98k) spreewell.wav - Lattrell Spreewell tells another player to suck his dick

[ Download ] (115k) spursannouncer.mp3 - Drew and Mike remark about how bad the San Antonia Spurs' public address guy sounds

[ Download ] (47.2k) stopit.wav - Some fat kid being rescued or something: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, no more!!! No! Stop it!"

[ Download ] (9.4k) stanley.wav - From Diana Sawyer interviewing Tom Cruise: "Stanley"

[ Download ] (9k) startrockin.mp3 - From an irate listener's voicemail to WRIF: "Start rockin'! NOW!"

[ Download ] (176k) startrockincall.mp3 - An irate listener calls WRIF and leaves a voicemail complaining about their format

[ Download ] (34.9k) stayawake.wav - Mark from the Holiday Inn commercial: "I can't stay awake. I just get in bed and it's like, out."

[ Download ] (11k) steveodrunklove.mp3 - A drunk Steve O: "I love Adam Carolla so hard"

[ Download ] (16k) steveodrunkstrangle.mp3 - A drunk Steve O: "I'm about to strangle you out of your unconsciousness"

[ Download ] (17k) stinksex.wav - From the movie "Super Troopers": "It's stinks like sex in here."

[ Download ] (5k) stoplaughing.mp3 - Jerry Seinfeld: "Stop laughing it's not funny"

[ Download ] (13.7k) stopped.wav - O.J. Simpson from a 911 tape: "She needs to be stopped!"

[ Download ] (1.23M) strangebutreal.mp3 - Drew and Mike find a phone listing of strange but real names and call the people up.

[ Download ] (1.2M) strangebutreal2.mp3 - Drew and Mike with a new strange but real name, preceeded by a call to a cop who almost killed someone while taking a dump

[ Download ] (49k) strapon.wav - "I haven't seen chemistry like that since Rosie O'Donnell poked Tom Cruise with her strapon"

[ Download ] (301.6k) strungoutelvis.mp3 - Elvis Presley trying to convince the crowd that he isn't "strung out" as reported in the media at the time.

[ Download ] (201k) stumpstaffintro.mp3 - The intro to the "Stump The Staff" game D&M sometimes play with the listeners

[ Download ] (34.5k) stupidquestion.wav - William Shatner in response to a question by some D.J. about toupees: "That is a stupid question, by a rather stupid person"

[ Download ] (10k) stupidestidea.mp3 - "That's an awful a lot of money for the stupidest idea i ever heard"

[ Download ] (44k) stutteringgore.mp3 - Al Gore trying to answer a question but has trouble getting the words out.

[ Download ] (19k) subwayretard.mp3 - "So uh, how'd you lose all that weight? Like that retard from subway?"

[ Download ] (266k) subwaywhore.mp3 - Jared Fogel makes an appearance after a football game to whore Subway some more

[ Download ] (57.5k) suckbigdicks.wav - From the movie "Heathers": "I like to suck big dicks. Mmmmm, mmmmmm. Oh, oh."

[ Download ] (65.2k) sucksausage.wav - Tom Cruise in "Magnolia": "We like to celebrate St. Suck my big fat fucking sausage!"

[ Download ] (59.7k) superbowl.mp3 - An excited football player gives a short speech victory speech about working to win the Super Bowl.

[ Download ] (35.5k) sunglassesinside.wav - "You know who wheres sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes."

[ Download ] (50k) sundayschool.wav - Charles Manson: "I'm a convict. I'm an outlaw. I'm a rebel. I'm not a sunday school teacher."

[ Download ] (22.2k) surrender.wav - "Alright! I surrender!"

[ Download ] (145k) survivortheme.mp3 - The theme music to TV's Survivor.

[ Download ] (726k) swearslips.mp3 - Trudi makes a slip up and swears during a newscast, prompting D&M to relive some other moments

[ Download ] (22k) sweatyturd.wav - Brian Posehn: "What a sweaty piece of turd that was."

[ Download ] (251k) swiftboat.mp3 - Drew and Mike version of the anti-John Kerry swift boat ads