N

NAMBLA - Acronym for the North American Man Boy Love Association, an organized group of pedophiliac men that advocate sex with male children. Thought to represent one of the best examples of a group of sick, twisted fucks that try to force their demented perversions upon innocents under the general conceptual guise of acceptance of differences and general equality amongst individuals.

Ned - Drew's former cat. Massively afraid of thunderstorms and vacuum cleaners.

Nerf Toss - A simple or elementary question, usually involving sports trivia.

Niagra - Potion designed to cause sexual arousal in females. Currently being sued by the makers of Viagra.

Nick - Elderly disk jockey that used to make comments designed to be entertaining. Has not been heard from in some time and may have died.

Ninety-Seven Percent - Proportion of Drew and Mike listeners known to be of African American descent. The other three percent are thought to be gay.

No Ah Ah - A negative response. Similar to "no," but more vehement.

No! No More! No! Stop it! - Sound bite of a child screaming in agony that is frequently employed when referencing something horrible. Originally recorded when the child became trapped in a well and rescue workers were attempting to free him. It’s funny because we don’t know him. (He’s Ok).

No One is Responsible For Anything - The general principle that appears to guide our society today. For instance, Mike is not responsible for his behavior due to his being sprayed with Zinc Cadmium Sulfide as a child, Drew's mischievous behavior stems from his coming from a broken family, and so on. Basically, this principle states that everyone has an excuse, there is no accountability, and everything is someone else's fault.

Norris, Joe - Affable senior citizen that holds the record for the most pins knocked down during tournament bowling.

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That - General statement voiced after any reference to homosexuality. Meant to emphasize a lack of homophobia on behalf of the staff, and is intended in part to respect the feelings and inclinations of show producer Marc Fellhauer.

Nothing Weaseled, Nothing Gained - Statement meant to express the sentiment that if one does not make an attempt, one will not receive a reward.

November 7th, 2001 - Anniversary of the incident where Mike Clark backed up his truck into his garage door, causing it to dislodge from it's runners with the final result being his truck was trapped inside the garage. Mike was left to resort to hitching a ride into work from his sister

November 22nd, 1963 - The date when US President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. A date Mike Clark remembers vividly, as he was playing with blocks as the assassination news unfolded.

Enchanted Mitten - Mike's proposed idea for the official state motto. Completely shot to hell by Governor John Engler in a 7/16/98 interview when he pointed out to Mike that there is also an upper peninsula in Michigan.

Nut and Bolt - Describes the act of using another for sexual purposes only, and then dismissing the person completely. Also "H & D."

O

October 31 - Drew Lane’s birthday.

Odometer Turning Over - Describes the point in an individual’s life when they cease to become physically attractive or sexually desirable. See "Applegate Syndrome."

Off-The-Bag - Describes a mildly aroused penis that has begun the process of erection while not yet attaining full mast. See "Fluffed."

Ogo Pogo - A mythological creature similar to the Loch Ness monster that is said to inhabit a lake in Canada. A woman named Arlene has written 3 books on the subject, and was interviewed on the show. While the interview itself was not overly remarkable, it was constantly interrupted by the barking of her incredibly obnoxious dog, which basically just annoyed the hell out of everyone.

Oh For Meow's Sake - Catch phrase from Mike, stems from a story about a talking cat.

OJ Voice - Another interesting method of pronunciation that is difficult to describe in a printed narrative. Began with a certain pronunciation of "...with the kids in the house!" and then went on from there to several other areas of commentary. It is not unusual for substantial portions of the show to be broadcast in this manner.

OK Mr. Lane Guy - A foreign gentleman that was interviewed after he was arrested for attacking a child that had allegedly been overly aggressive with his son during a school soccer game. Used the words "Mr. Lane" so many times during the interview that he actually became a frequently employed drop.

Old Lady - The desired term for one's girlfriend or spouse. Contest participants have been awarded prizes simply for referring to their significant others in this fashion.

Olga - Warren octogenarian known for showing up at city council meetings and giving the council members hell regarding a variety of issues. Originally thought to be somewhat senile and unbalanced until interviews with her demonstrated conclusively that she indeed possesses a keen intellect, and routinely is able to communicate a number of extremely valid points regarding various shenanigans and misdeeds perpetrated by Warren council members.

One-Hundred Percent Not (fill-in word) - This phrase began in 1995 with O.J. Simpson’s assertion of being "100% not guilty" of double homicide. Realizing the overt and obvious disingenuousness of this claim, the morning crew began to ridicule it relentlessly, and now any assertion of "not being" something will be prefaced in this manner.

One in the Oven - Metaphorical term indicating that a female is with child.

Ouchy The Clown - Niche marketing specialist and entrepreneur that barters sado-masochistic clown services to enthusiastic purchasers. Maintains a web site at ouchytheclown.com.

Over Served - Excuse used by individuals that wish to pass the blame for their public drunkenness or other inappropriate behavior upon those that actually served them alcoholic beverages.

P

Packin' on the Pounds - Frequently referred to phrase used to describe individuals that appear to be gaining weight.

Paintjob - Describes the act of having one’s penis licked. Originally coined by Ted "Double Duty" Radcliff in a 6/18/99 interview.

Patch - Female pubic hair region. Also "Triangle," and occasionally "Forest" (if it is a particularly dense patch).

Patchell, Ted - Openly homosexual game show contestant that had been a frequent guest on the show primarily due to his colorful and eccentric mannerisms and speech intonations.

Peanut Butter and Nanner Sandwich - The favorite food of Elvis.

Peas and Carrots - Endearing phrase uttered by Michigan chef Keith Famie while calling home during an episode of the reality show "Survivor"

Peel Off Ten - General statement articulated by Drew and basically designed to insinuate that a given female might benefit from a comprehensive weight reduction program. Originally mentioned in somewhat of an offhand manner, reactions to this statement were voluminous and essentially resulted in an avalanche of abrogating commentary directed toward Drew and an outpouring of venomous negativity rarely observed throughout the history of the show.

Phillip from Livonia - Clueless sports trivia caller that bet Howard Cosell one million dollars on a sports trivia question, lost, and then disappeared.

Pile Driving - Describes the act of particularly energetic, lively, and vigorous sexual intercourse.

Piling On - The act of ganging up upon others. Generally occurs when one individual insults or speaks ill of another, and then all others present decide to do the same.

Pin Cushion - Synonym for a slut, implying that she has been jabbed repeatedly by many different penises, similarly to a pin cushion and many pins

Pine Knob - Outdoor amphitheater located in Clarkston. Has since become another victim of corporate sponsorship and is now referred to as "The DTE Energy Theatre"

Plane Man - Mike's alter ego whenever discussing anything concerning air flight. Stems from the fact that Mike is a licensed pilot (a fact that is incredibly frightening to anyone familiar with Mike's psychological peculiarities). In some cases this character will only speak through an airplane radio.

Plasty - Medical term meaning "surgical repair." Generally used to indicate that an individual’s sexual organs have received so much abuse as to require surgical intervention. See "Iodine."

Poison Ivy Patch - Describes a female genital region that appears to be in constant need of physical stimulation.

Pom Pom - Term describing oral sex as performed upon a male by another individual of either gender. Also: "Sack Lunch," "Skull," "Beejer," "Face," and a bunch of others that I can't remember.

Pooper Trooper - Describes a female that, while not totally enamored with the thought of H.R.A. participation, is willing to submit in order to please her partner. See "H.R.A."

Potent Patch - Term used to describe an impressive or sexually desirable female pubic region. Also "Strong Triangle."

Potty Animals - A musical compact disc filled with humourous songs about going to the washroom. Originally intended to assist in potty training children

Powder Room - Any room in which a senior citizen achieves orgasm. See "Dust."

President Banana - Name of a former head of state from Africa that was thrown out of office for outlandish homosexual behavior that he forced upon males both within and outside of his administration. Basically, any time the word "banana" is mentioned on the show there is a very good chance that this individual will be referenced.

Product - Gentler euphemism for orgasmic output. For instance: "He left the product on her cans." See "Cans."

PSI - Pounds per square inch. Standard used to gauge the level of pressure that exists within a male’s loins. Directly related to the amount of time since the last sexual encounter. A high PSI has been known to cause back pressure. See "Full Bag."

Psychic Trivia - Game in which a topic is presented, and the listeners are then invited to call in and guess the answer to a question that has not yet been revealed. Hints are generally provided periodically until someone correctly guesses the answer to the unnamed question. This game sometimes starts impromptu when listeners been to call in at the mere mention of a contest by Drew and Mike even though the trivia question contestants must answer has yet to be announced.

Psycho Cat Lady, The - A deranged lunatic who contacted the police and requested an officer to remove her cat, apparently because she had become convinced that it represented some type of threat to her health. When the 911 operator informed her that such a task was not the responsibility of the police, the woman went into a psychotic tirade that, while incredibly amusing, was also quite disturbing, and has become a sort of metaphor for mentally unstable, psychopathic, disturbed, crackpot individuals everywhere.

Psycho Ex-Girlfriend - Describes Jill, a former companion of Mark McElwain, a gentleman from the Dallas area. This obviously dysfunctional and unbalanced individual left more than 50 messages on McElwain's answering machine over a short period of time, occasionally spanning only a few minutes between ravings. The narrative pattern of her tirades varied wildly, fluctuating between conspicuous, acrimonious antipathy and sorrow-ridden, melancholy wailing. The pattern is clearly indicative of a variety of diagnosable psychopathological afflictions that any guy who's ever dumped a psycho hose beast bitch will recognize immediately.

Pulling a Wolters - Describes the act of creating a serious social faux pax, and stems from multiple incidents caused by show co-producer Mike Wolters. The most notable of these was one in which Mr. Wolters had completed an off-air interview with an openly gay man and, thinking that the conversation had ended proceeded to exclaim loudly "That guy wants to fuck me." Of course, the gentleman was still on the line and heard the exclamation, causing the entire staff to spend hours devising ways in which to fix the problem.

Pumping Full of Air - Mike’s favorite metaphor for the act of sexual intercourse. This phrase is uttered quite frequently despite the fact that it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever from either a grammatical or syntactic perspective.

Punching Bag - Sexually permissive female.

Punching the Clown - Metaphor for the act of male masturbation. Also "Belting the Bald Bishop," "Floggin' It," and "Wristin' It."

Pushing Your Voice - Forbidden practice of attempting to make one’s self sound more hip, cool, or otherwise socially attractive via alterations in normal vocal inflection. Practiced by Rod, Ed, and numerous other losers featured on the show, and strictly prohibited during the Stump the Staff segment. The general concept has also now been transferred to other an abundance of other activities, as various individuals have been accused of pushing their eyes, foreheads, chests, funniness, skinniness, intelligence, eyebrows, anger, love, and other attributes.

Put a Roof On It! - Statement directed at a particularly impressive bowel movement. Stems from the notion that a "log" house should have a roof, and refers to the green-slatted roofs common with the Lincoln Log toys.

Putney, Scot - Also known as "The Guru", Scot occasionally would comment on computer-related issues.

Q

Qualls, D.J. - An actor appearing in typically lighter fare who has become an ongoing joke on the show orginating from the fact that he resembles more distinguished actor Adrien Brody. The show will often times purposely interchange the names of the two actors as if they were doing so unknowingly. The show will usually continue the act despite an onslaught of phone calls and emails in an attempt to correct the mistake. For example: "D.J. Qualls was wonderful in the remake of 'King Kong'." See "Brody, Adrien", "Ling, Lisa", "Liu, Lucy"

R

Rack - Synonym for a pair of female breasts.

Rackstress - Term that describes a female that possesses unusually large mammary glands.

Radio For One - Occasional segment of the show in which a portion of the broadcast is directed at one individual only.

Rag Doll - Used to describe the falling or tumbling body of an unconcious or dead person similarly to that of a actual rag doll.

Rectal Gonorrhea - A disease commonly referred to on the show that is known for attacking the lining of the sphincter and causing swelling, pain, and the discharge of pus.

Red Ball Harness Set - Sexual device often referred to on the show. Originally from the film Pulp Fiction, Drew and Mike were able to convince Bob Barker to utter the phrase and the resulting audio clip is now frequently aired.

Red Ass - Term that describes an individual that is upset about something. Stems from the visual image of one's glowing buttocks shortly after receiving a spanking.

Redmond, Mickey - Former right winger for the Montreal Canadians and the Detroit Red Wings, was the first right winger to score 50 goals in a season. Has a total of 4 Stanley Cup rings; two as a player for the Canadians and two as an announcer with the Red Wings. Provides hockey commentary and analysis for the show throughout the hockey season. Fond of both beer and Metallica.

Releasing the Hostages - Metaphorical term used to reference the act of defecation. Also "Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool", "Growing a Tail", "Laying Cable", and "Loafing Down", "Stocking the Pond", and "Taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl."

Rest Ring - Indentation formed in particularly large outputs of fecal matter, created as the excretor paused for a rest from the birthing of such colossal mahogany newborns.

Rinks, Denise - Woman terminated from her greenhouse-related occupation for frequently offending her coworkers with excessive flatulation and forcing unwanted pastoral care upon her colleagues. Generally recognized as a radically annoying individual because hey - what could be worse than a preachy farting bitch?

R.J. - Acronym for "rim job", which describes the process of circling someone's anus with one's tongue. Also used as a common indicator of fecal matter in public swimming areas. For instance: "Macomb County today closed Metro Beach in response to fecal content that approached 12 RJs. Back to you Carmen." See "Footnote 220."

Roach - Spaced-out pot head and drug abuser that occasionally comments on various topics. Friend of Stash. Also used to introduce looney tunes.

Road Bob - Phrase initially coined by Trudi Daniels that describes the act of fellatio as administered in a moving vehicle.

Rock Room - Area of one's home dedicated to rock and roll paraphernalia. At first thought to be silly until it was acknowledged that everyone on the show has one.

Rocket Guy - Rich guy that is in the process of building a rocket to launch himself to a high altitude (but NOT into space). Considered to have just enough resources and absence of brains to make it happen.

Rod - Pathetic loser that began an internet campaign designed to attract a potential bride by offering a reward of $10,000 to the referral source. Known for his offerings of trite and banal prose designed to convince women that he was anything other than his true loser self. Never married, never paid any referral fees to anyone, and essentially just used his twisted scheme to gain sexual access to unsuspecting females that were foolish enough to believe him sincere. Also pushed his voice.

Rolling the Bean - Describes the act of female masturbation, and derives its name from the visual image of a female digitally manipulating the clitoris.

Rolo Rock - Infectious melody frequently employed as the introduction to the traffic report.

Ronin - Drew’s alternative name, which he prefers both because it is cool and because he spent much of his life being called "Andy," which is undeniably a pussy name.

Rottweiler Farts - According to the Beano organization, these are the worst smelling type of dog farts. The fact that anyone had thought to measure such a thing has been a source of considerable amusement on the show.

Rubbery Shlong - Mike’s longing and desirous description of the visual appearance of a male erection.

S

Salty Meat Explosion Day - Actual holiday celebrated in Iceland, this festive occurrence take place the day after Bun Day. See "Mackie."

Sausage Fest - Any event attended predominately by men.

Scotty - Sleazy individual that held the record for being married more times than anyone else. Despite his advanced age, many of his brides were in their teens, and were acquired via the mail from various third world nations. He died in 1998.

Sea Hunt - Mike's favorite show from his childhood. His favorite part was when they would cut a SCUBA diver's air hose.

Seasoned Whore - Coined by Mike, this refers to a particularly skanky prostitute or otherwise slutty woman

Sebum Head - According to Drew, this is a medical condition apparently suffered by newscaster Trudi Daniels. See "Apparently."

Second Brainwashed - Term used to describe the mental state of any male who appears to use a decision making criteria that revolves solely around how the decision will affect his sex life.

Seed Bag - A scrotum

Semi-Holidays - Great outrage has been expressed on the show regarding holidays in which the government basically shuts down put everyone else (most importantly Drew and Mike) still have to work. Such holidays include Martin Luther King JR’s Birthday, Veteran’s Day, and Columbus Day.

Separated At Birth - See "Audio Separated at Birth"

September 18 - Anniversary of the Great Coffee Spill. See also "Did They Ever Caulk This Board?"

Sequoia - Known as a large species of tree that is composed of a exceptionally dense genus of wood, this designation is often applied as a metaphor for a particularly large and inflexible erection.

Service After the Sale - Describes how Drew and Mike explain how great a previous portion of the show was in case those currently listening missed it.

Seth - Extremely successful young entrepreneur responsible for several web sites offering a variety of pornographic services. Held in very high esteem by the WRIF staff. See "Clublove.com"

Seven-Second Delay - Amount of time between when a word is spoken and when it is broadcast on the air. Used to prevent F.C.C. fines in the event of profanity.

Seventh-Man In - A media story regarding a prostitute that had open sores on her body attached an additional possible participant to the previously exclusive "Sixth-Man In" theory. See "Sixth-Man In."

Sheet Ripper - Phrase that describes a particularly impressive passage of flatulence.

Sheila - Feisty office manager for Greater Detroit Radio, owner of WRIF. Best known for her brutal, coarse, and take-no-prisoners approach to keeping the thieving, pilfering, and generally disreputable WRIF employees in line. Celebrated her 24th anniversary with the organization on 4/18/01.

Shiny Turgidity - Phrase that describes an erection that is emitting seminal fluid prior to full ejaculation. Also "Glistener."

Shirt for Shirt - Game occasionally played when the broadcast emanates from a location other than the studio. Women in the audience are offered free shirts if they are willing to change into the new garment in front of everyone. Basically represents a shameless opportunity to view attractive women in the process of changing shirts.

Shoot and scoot. - Describes the process of achieving orgasm only to quickly evacuate the area. Also "Throw and go."

Short Bus - Term for vehicles known to transport developmentally disabled individuals. Generally used to insinuate that someone is intellectually challenged, as in "I think he just got off the short bus."

Show and Tell - A segment that is very similar to the childhood game of the same name, in which a member of the show will bring something in and tell the others about it. The others will generally try their best to discredit whatever has been presented.

Shrine of the Little Flower - Catholic school that Mike attended as a child, where he was constantly physically abused by the nuns. Thought to be a primary factor in causing his disturbed psychiatric disposition.

Shut Up Little Man - Phrase used to describe the trials and tribulations of Peter and Ray, two elderly gay alcoholics from San Francisco. Several of their arguments and confrontations were recorded by a neighbor, and the resulting dialog has come to be universally recognized as some of the funniest audio clips ever aired on any station anywhere.

Shut Your Five Hole - Statement made to a female indicating that she should restrict access to her vaginal area.

Shut Your Pie Hole - Also "Shut Your Goddamn Piehole." Phrase uttered by Robert DiNero and used to degrade and dismiss someone who is making a comment thought to be offensive, incorrect, or simply in conflict with the way Drew and Mike view any given issue.

Silly Cones - Metaphor for breast implants.

Silver Fox - Term used to describe the pubic region of an elderly female.

Simba - Allegedly loud-mouthed dog belonging to Helen, a resident of Dearborn. The dog was actually evicted from the city due to frequent complaints of excessive barking.

Singing Psychic, The - Fran Baskerville, a bizarre individual whose voice resembles that of the psychic lady in the "Poltergeist" films and purports to have clairvoyant abilities that were thrust upon her after being struck by a truck. She communicates her so-called "psychic abilities" by strumming a guitar and singing the "messages." Any claim to psychic ability was completely and conclusively discredited when she stated that Mike was "hung" and that Trudi did not desire HRA-related activities. As if.

Sixth-Man In - Term that describes what is considered to be the last possible male participant that could reasonably become involved in sexual relations with a female. The logic proceeds as follows: One penis inserted vaginally, one anally, one for the mouth, one in each hand, and, finally, a sixth participant to slide his penis between the breasts. Although it has not been explicitly stated on the show, it should perhaps be acknowledged that there are probably a few small-dicked nose or ear fuckers out there that would destroy this rationale. Also of note is the hideously disgusting yet theoretically possible concept of a "Seventh Man In," as described above.

Skank - An adjective that describes anything disgusting. It generally is attached to a noun in order to complete a descriptive sentence, such as "House of Skank," "Neighborhood of Skank," "City of Skank," etc.

Sminty - Columnist for the Detroit Free Press who writes the "Names and Faces" column. Usually offers favorable views of the show, but can be unpredictable. Frequently refers to Drew and Mike as the "Joy Boys", "Rudesome Dudesome", and "Fecal Fun Boys", which has prompted Drew and Mike to change his name from John Smyntek to "Sminty." It is generally considered impossible to be a local celebrity without being mentioned in his column.

Snow Cones - Favorite snack food of Mike. Great outrage has been expressed on the show over the apparent disappearance of snow cones from mainstream entertainment venues such as carnivals, fairs, and ball games. This hostility was only partially minimized by the presentation to Mike of a snow cone making machine.

So Ah Guy, The - Nameless individual that for years has anonymously mailed interesting insights and comments to the station. Statements always begin with "So, ah ....." Amazingly, his voice on the show sounds exactly like that of Stash.

Sommy - Alias of 9th grader Billy Tamai who lived in Emeryville, Ontario (just outside Windsor) who managed, for a short time, to trick his family, police, and various media organizations into thinking that the Tamai home had been invaded by a cyber terrorist of some sort who had total control over every device in the house via the phone lines and power grid. In the end, the child was merely speaking while inhaling to create a "masked voice" while speaking over a phone extension in the home. He also flipped circuit breakers to turn appliances on and off.

Sound Effects Theater - An occasional segment of the show in which various sound effects are utilized in order to present humorous anecdotes and stories.

Soybomb - Name bestowed upon a peculiar gentleman from New York that painted the word "SOYBOMB" on his chest and performed an unscheduled and bizarre dance routine during Bob Dylan’s performance of "Love Sick" at the 1998 Grammy Awards. The word "soybomb" apparently refers to some type of protest about something that no one really gives a damn about anyway.

Spare Change - Synonym for ejaculated sperm. Also "Looper," "Throw," and "Toss."

Sparky - WRIF staffer frequently responsible for problems related to the WRIF web site.

Speaking in the Third Person - Referring to one's self as though a separate entity. Frequently attempts are made to get low-level celebrities to speak in this manner as a method of pointing out how ludicrous his or her situation is. For instance, one may ask Mr. Babone "So what's next for Mike Babone?"

Spinner - A petite female, generally defined as 5' 3'' or less, and 105 lbs. or less. Stems from the notion that such an individual could easily be placed upon the penis and rotated about quickly for the purpose of amusement and sexual gratification.

Spooning - Describes the act of lying in bed together closely, like spoons in a silverware drawer. Generally used in a homosexual context.

Springing Into Action - Term frequently voiced by Drew as he trumpets how he went about solving any of a variety of issues or problems.

Springy Job - Dual meanings: A) a pubic hair, or B) Jerry Springer

Springy Job, Mrs. - Jerry Springer's wife

Sports Blotter - Occasional segment of the news cast that deals solely with professional athletes that have run afoul of the law.

Squash Bananas Up His Ass - (Sung) Phrase uttered by a Disney toy that was marketed shortly after the release of "The Lion King" film. While Disney officials stated that the utterance was actually a Swahili phrase, careful scrutiny of the narration leaves little doubt as to the actual content of the doll's declaration.

Stacy - Young female employee of the WRIF sales department that is thought to be physically attractive. Despite such external splendor, Stacy has clearly exhibited psychologically vicious tendencies by rejecting and insulting would-be suitors on the air, once even stating before approximately 500,000 listeners that one such gentleman had a zit that made him look like he had been "walloped upside the head."

Stadium Pal - Device that allows attendees of sporting events and concerts to avoid the use of bathroom facilities by simply urinating where ever they may be. Essentially consists of standard medical devices, including a condom catheter, tubing, and a urinary retention bag that is strapped to the leg.

Stash - Spaced-out pot head and drug abuser that occasionally comments on various topics. Friend of Roach.

Steely - Used to describe a penis at the height of it's erect state. Also "Steely Hard".

Stenosis - Constriction or narrowing of a passageway or opening, such as in the spinal column. This is the condition that kept Drew off the air for 5 months in 1998. Generally, this condition only results in 3 – 4 weeks off of work. See "It’s Crazy."

Stinkyface - In a two woman catfight where one woman smothers the other's face with her crotch. The clarion call of Carolinacatfights.com.

Stocking the Pond - Yet another metaphorical term used to reference the act of defecation. Same as "Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool", "Growing a Tail", "Laying Cable", "Loafing Down", "Releasing the Hostages", and "Taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl."

Stress, Mr. - Emotionally-challenged, tension-riddled, anxiety-filled, award-winning traffic reporter.

Strong Triangle - Used to describe a particularly seductive and desirable female pubic region. Also "Potent Patch."

Stump Howard - Discontinued sports trivia segment in which callers phone in sports trivia questions to be answered by Howard Cosell.

Stump Howard Rules - Question must involve events that occurred in 1965 or after, no 2-parters or multi-parters are allowed, and football, baseball, or basketball are the only sports that callers may inquire about. College questions must involve Division I teams only. Howard is allowed 3 guesses and may ask for hints. Callers may be awarded a prize if Howard is unable to correctly answer the question, if the correct answer was given only after several quality hints were granted, if the question is deemed to be of superior quality to other questions, or for various other reasons. Female callers that speak to Howard in a sexually explicit manner generally win by default.

Stump The Staff - Interactive game in which listeners are invited to call in with trivia questions in an attempt to stump all present staff members. Callers are only allowed one question, and tremendous attempts are made to get them to waste it with such pointless inquiries such as "How are you?" or "What’s happening?" Even an inflected question such as "Hello?" or "What?" is sufficient grounds for disqualification, and every attempt will be made to trick the caller into such a faux paux. Rules for this game are usually invented or changed while the game is in progress and will sometimes be named after the contest participant who first inspired them.

Stump the Staff Rules - (Revised Sept 03, 2006) Violation of any of the following rules is cause for immediate dismissal from the game:

• Ask pre-1970 questions
• Ask multi-part questions
• Exhibit robotic behavior
• Be pushy weasels
• Sound stupid
• Ask "co-star" questions
• Ask "stupid wiener" questions
• Order the hosts around
• Kiss the host’s asses
• Ask repetitive questions, or be repetitive at all in general
• Call anyone "baby"
• Eat while playing the game
• Be a dick to L.T.
• Talk over Butt Mike
• Laugh over Butt Mike
• Male bash
• Be a pain in the ass
• Try to be funny
• Ask Crispin Glover, Craig Biggio, or action hero questions
• Ask birthday questions (Keith Cameron rule)
• Be a snob
• Try to sound sexy (men only)
• Flesh out questions on the air
• Push their voice (Rod violation)
• Be overly polite
• Say "Hoooooooowwweeellll!!! Michigan"
• Ask deflected pass questions
• Say "good morning" more than once
• Pronounce the "T" in football
• Ask "piece of equipment" questions
• Be on speaker phone
• Ask hockey draft questions
• Ask Pro Bowl questions
• Ask questions that were already asked
• Ask "Maggie, Lisa, or Bart Simpson" questions
• Ask "second place" questions
• Act weird
• Ask "first line in the movie" questions
• Ask "running length" questions
• Say "Right On"
• Be trite
• Display clueless activity
• Breathe hard (men only)
• Be too excited
• Be a turd
• Whine
• Ask questions to people, whether on or off the air (ie: questions asked to people in the background count as the one question accepted in the game)
• Ask a question after winning. Prizes may be taken away by Drew and Mike even if they already awarded said prize.
• Ask Frank Reich questions
• Ask middle name questions
• Ask "character name" questions
• Say "Howdy, howdy"
• Yell "Yo"
• Yell to people off the air so you can let them know that you're on the air
• Sound gay
• Ask arts and literature questions
• Have crying babies, ever
• Ask "football bell" questions (what this rule actually is, even Drew and Mike seem to have forgotten)
• Ask "milestones happened against" questions, aka "what team happened against" questions
• Use a bad cellphone
• Use cheezy slang ie. "I'm doing jivey."
• Reference their husbands or boyfriends (women only) aka Sam's Law
• Use the word "eclipse"
• Interrupt plugs, especially for Cold Stone Creamery
• Use headsets on cell phones. (The James Singely rule)
• Lie
• Ask team questions? (Dan Tool rule?)
• Talk over drops
• Butt-in while staff is conferring about an answer
• Ask attendance questions
• Ask team record questions
• Sound romantic (men only)
• Use a stupid nickname (The Moosey Rule)
• Ask a Mark Eaton question (Mike Cossack rule)
• Ask a retired number question
• Utter the word "peace" or the phrase "peace out"
• Ask an ownership or other organizational questions
• Ask mythical questions
• Ask race or nationality questions
• Ask a blocked punt question
• Say "Roger Dodger"
• Ask a "hit for the cycle" baseball question
• Ask Silverdome questions
• Ask baseball pop fly questions
• Ask draft pick questions (beyond the 1st round)
• Exhibit "Fonzi" like behaviour (ie. say "Hey" in a drawn out fashion like the character on Happy Days)
• Say "Sorry" in a drawn out fashion (although using it as a crutch to overcome a stuttering impairment is acceptable)
• Ask a football penalty question unless the play involved is well known
• Ask a point after touchdown (PAT) question (The Dan Wilson Rule)
• Ask a question about triples (baseball)
• Ask a "hit for the cycle" baseball question
• Ask an exhibition game question (The Dan Wilson Rule)
• Refer to anyone as "Boss"
• Ask anymore questions about the final game at Tiger Stadium
• Ask a year question (Will Roberts Rule)
• Ask a question where the answer would be how many times something happened
• Ask a team point total or margin of victory questions
• Say "No sir" in response to a wrong answer

• Carry the burden of conversation
• Be engaging
• Be nice to Trudi
• Respond to Gary Coleman
• Know the answer to their question
• Respond to L.T.
• Respond to Rod
• Respond to Jerry (the San Francisco Jacks guy)
• Respond to Borat
• Respond to Mrs. Jazzerzab
• Respond to other drops, as appropriate
• Be excited if they win (Mike Machesky rule, formerly the Lloyd Ludkey rule)
• Understand that the staff gets three guesses before the caller wins (unless the staff gives in sooner)
• Understand the delay
• Understand that the staff may use any and all resources to answer a question
• Understand all the rules even though Drew and Mike are not obligated to read them
• Understand that all errors are in favor of the staff
• Accept the name Drew and Mike give you
• Understand that the rules may be changed at anytime
• Have a source that the Staff can quickly reference for verification purposes
• Have command of their question. The contestant should know the details surrounding your question, where it originated, and most of all, understand it.
• Answer bra size questions (Women only)

• Bail themselves out of trouble by quickly referring to themselves in the third person. This tactic is typically only accepted if a question has been inadvertantly asked.
• Be grandfathered and allowed to continue playing the game if something they do creates a new rule to be made at that moment. This, of course, is up to the discretion of Drew and Mike and usually depends on how annoying the person is.

Stunt Winners - Substitute "winners" that are called upon whenever the actual winner of any given contest appears apathetic, dispassionate, or phlegmatic despite having been awarded a prize. Although the substitutes receive no prize, they are expected to feign delight, slander other callers that did not win, and thank Jesus for their good fortune. See "Lloyd Ludkey Rule.".

Sultan of Brown Eye - A slight variation on the name of the Sultan of Brunei, a rich Arab who is known for allegedly bringing American beauty contest winners and participants to his country so that he can sexually abuse them. Also famous for naming his yacht "TITS", and it's two smaller excursion vehicles "Nipple One" and "Nipple Two."

Sunshine - Name of the dog that the "I’m Going to Have Your Ass Burnt" guy had sex with. See "I’m Going to Have Your Ass Burnt."

Super Seat - Supposedly odorless toilet created by Charlie, an Asian inventor. Basically, it consisted of a plastic toilet device connected to a powerful ventilation system designed to suck the stench away. It cost $25.00 and was guaranteed to last 10 years.

Sword Fighting - Metaphorical term used to suggest homosexual behavior between men. Derives its name from the visual image of two men swinging their penises at each other.

T

T.C. - Pilot of Sky Crib, former guest of the show. Has not been heard from for some time and his segment has been discontinued pending financial negotiations with Program Director Doug Podell. Occasionally pops up on the afternoon show.

T n G - Throw and Go. Describes the act of achieving orgasm only to quickly vacate the immediate area. See "Throw."

Taint - 1) Term that describes the perineum, which is the region between the vulva and the anus in a female and the area between the scrotum and the anus in a male. Comprised largely of skin, muscle, and fasciae, this body structure is so described because it "taint" here and it "taint" there. Also "Fleshy Fun Bridge." 2) General term used to describe anything thought to be contaminated. Frequently used to describe an unsanitary vaginal area.

Taking the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl - Yet another reference to the act of defecation. For those of you counting, that makes 7. Same as "Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool, "Growing a Tail", "Laying Cable", "Loafing Down", "Releasing the Hostages", and "Stocking the Pond

Talbert, Bob - (Revised) Irreverent and rascally writer for the Detroit Free Press known for publishing columns that were deemed to be mildly derogatory towards the show. These columns led to a good-natured rivalry and relatively affable verbal sparring between Mr. Talbert and Drew and Mike. Bob passed away in late 1999, bringing an end not only to this rather amiable and amusingly antagonistic competition, but also to over three decades of a unique and colorful style of local reporting that came to epitomize Mr. Talbert’s style of writing.

Tantric Sex - Describes a type of sexual activity popularized by the rock star Sting that lasts for hours and involves tremendous psychological control on the part of the male. Generally ridiculed by Drew and Mike because hey, who the hell has time for that?

Taste of Tate - Audio clips of Tate farting used to punish or disgust individuals thought to be deserving of such treatment See "Tate".

Tasting Massengill - Euphemism for oral sex as performed upon a female.

Tate - Local man that is able to fart on command. Was quite popular on the show until the discovery of Mr. Methane. See "Mr. Methane."

TCB With a Flash - Borrowed from Elvis, this phrase is used frequently on the show and basically describes acts of resolving business issues in a quick and efficient manner.

TD - Abbreviation for "Toxic Dick," a phrase that was first applied to Dennis Rodman for obvious reasons. The phrase has also been applied to others, most notably actor Edward Norton, due to his alleged sexual liaisons with Courtney Love, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz.

Tea Bagging - Describes the act of hovering one’s testicles over the mouth of another, and then dropping them in, as if a tea bag into a cup. Originally from the John Walters movie "Pecker."

Team Photo - Term that describes the total number of sexual partners that one has accumulated in a lifetime. For instance, sexually promiscuous individuals would have a large "team photo."

Ted the Anchor - Describes Ted, a local mechanic and friend of the show, that is best known for his anchor-like tendencies. See "Anchor."

Teletubbies - Children's show that became quite popular with members of the show. The frequently heard youthful chorus of "Uh oh!," "Again," and "Time for Tubbie Bye-Bye" stem from this program.

Telling Your Story - The act of presenting one's individual interpretation of a set of circumstances. Used to bait callers into a trap in which Drew and Mike pretend to sympathize with the victim's viewpoints so that the victim will articulate them, only to be pounced upon after the interview has run long enough that termination of the conversation is considered inconsequential. Victims of this practice are generally quite deserving of the abuse.

Temperature Given as the Number of a Sports Player - The current or expected air temperature will frequently be stated in the form of the number of a sports player. For instance, on a very cold morning it might stated that "It is Gordie Howe right now" (9 degrees), or a hot day could be broadcast as "We are expecting a high of Sergei Federov" (91 degrees). This practice has been known to become somewhat ridiculous, with statements such as "Should reach about Elway squared plus Kozlov today" (62 degrees, 7 x 7 + 13).

Ten Second Radio Graffiti - Segment in which listeners are allowed to phone in and speak their minds about various topics for 10 seconds. Callers are generally allowed to substantially exceed the 10 second limit if the opinion presented concurs with that of Drew and Mike's.

Testicular Feminization - Chromosomal disorder that gives an individual of one gender certain characteristics of the opposite sex. According to a long standing rumor, an unidentified famous individual in Hollywood suffers from this disorder, and tremendous controversy was generated on the show when it was suggested that it may be Jamie Lee Curtis. Tess - Drew's current girlfriend. (pictured to right: What I've been told is Tess in the March 17th, 2003 issue of Crain's Detroit Business

The Bigger the Asshole, the Greater the Fertility - Another general rule of physics as defined by Drew and Mike that proclaims that poor, white trash assholes seem to spawn more brats than average individuals.

The Thing Itself - Mythological, pseudo-spiritual experience similar to a religious epiphany sought by members of the San Francisco Jacks organization and show producer Marc Fellhauer.

Theater of the Mind - Occasional segment of the show in which the hosts attempt to create the illusion that something is occurring when indeed it is not.

There’s a Boner Behind Everything - General observation frequently noted on the show that asserts that whenever there is a media story that doesn’t quite make sense or appears to be missing some critical data element, in the end it will revolve around someone’s sexual desires.

Thigh Highs and Four Inch Pumps - The unequivocally favorite fetish of Mike.

Thought Time Is The Same Everywhere - Used as an excuse when calling people in other times zones when they would most likely still be asleep.

Throaty Bowie - A recording of David Bowie material favored by Mike that presents vocals sung from deep in the throat. Thought to stir latent homosexual feelings and desires in Mike.

Throw - Dual meaning: 1). (Noun) The male ejaculate. 2). (Verb) To ejaculate sperm. Also "Looper," "Spare Change," and "Toss."

Throw and Go - Describes the process of achieving orgasm only to quickly evacuate the area. Also "Shoot and scoot."

Throwing Mud - The act of bespeckling one's undergarments or environmental area when one was only attempting to pass flatulence. While generally performed accidentally, it can occasionally can be accomplished intentionally.

Tickets by Intimidation - Segment in which listeners are asked to call in and attempt to win tickets to various events by intimidating Drew and Mike.

Time Out - Punishment administered to Mike whenever his pedophiliac or other ravings are thought to be out of control.

Tiny Boo - Name of a Vietnamese pot bellied pig that ran away from home only to be captured by a neighbor and slaughtered. The neighbor then placed the creature’s head on the hood of his car as an ornament, and proceeded to tell the owners of the pet how good it tasted. Great empathy for this unfortunate little animal was demonstrated on the show, showing a kinder, gentler side of Drew and Mike not often revealed to the general public.

Tipping is Out if Hand - A general observation that has been made on the show. Tip jars are showing up at fast food establishments, hotels, dry cleaners, and other entities where tips previously were not expected, and Drew and Mike are particularly pissed off about it.

Titmitized - Describes individuals that are captivated and spellbound by female breasts.

To the Leftus - Correct response to the question "How's it hanging?", refers to the positional status of one's genitalia.

Toilet Baby-sitting - Describes the act of standing over a lavatory facility after an initial flush, anxiously awaiting the opportunity to flush again. Generally necessitated by remnants that remained in the bowl after the initial flush. See "Cloud Deck" and "Courtesy Flush."

Tooooooooooo Bad! - A taunt similar to "Boo boo boo boo." Originated by Mike in October of 1999 when the Michigan State Spartans defeated the Wolverines, and was then used against him without mercy the very next week when Sparty got his ass kicked by Purdue. This one caught on very quickly, and continues to be utilized as a potent and effective tool for inflicting mockery and ridicule upon any deserving party. See "Boo boo boo boo."

Toss - Dual meaning: 1). (Noun) The male ejaculate. 2). (Verb) To ejaculate sperm.. Also "Looper," "Spare Change" and "Throw."

Toss My Salad - Invitation from one man to another to perform oral sex on his anal region. Originally from an HBO special on prisons.

Totaled - A more sexual version of the standard definition, usually applied to female body parts, inparticular the vagina and associated anatomy. For example: "That slut's crotch is totaled, call in the insurance adjuster"

Totally Farcical Call - A telephone call that is obviously silly or irrelevant. Taken from Al Michael's statement to Peter Jennings after Mr. Jennings was unwittingly duped into believing that a "Mr. Higgins" was reporting live from the scene at O.J. Simpson's house on the day of his arrest.

TR - Taylor Rap. Describes a magical form of loquacious and hypnotic verbiage articulated by former New York Giants linebacker and part-time actor Lawrence Taylor that causes him to become irresistible to women. Must be used only with the greatest of caution, as once it is activated it cannot be retracted until after the completion of a sexual act.

Triangle - Female pubic hair region. Also "Patch."

Trim - Describes the procurement of sexual gratification. For example: "I got some trim last night."

Trish - Mike's wife. Generally thought to be a saint for putting up with Mike.

Troy - Fictional fragrance designed for homosexual men. Ridicules Dallas Cowboy quarterback Troy Aikman and his allegedly ambiguous sexual preferences.

Truck Tree Guy - Describes Mark, a gentleman from Wisconsin who actually hired out a construction lift and had a truck installed in his tree. When confronted with this obvious absurdity, he became overly combative, openly belligerent, and basically conducted himself in a militant and hostile manner. Despite attaining the age of 48 years, this simpleton claimed to be an exotic dancer with the body of a 23 year old. Upon further inquiry however, it was discovered that he only dances once a year, and for free. He claimed to have significant resources, and yet was unable to fully explain his source if income. Generally offensive and megalomanical in nature, it is considered exceptionally rare that a bigger asshole is ever encountered in such a public forum. See "Ahhhhhhhssshhole."

True Crime Books - Such publications are unequivocally Drew's favorite type of reading material, and represent the vast majority of his literary indulgences.

Trudi News, ERRR! - The official moniker for the Trudi’s newscast, as bestowed by former actor and cancer victim Mr. T.

Trudi Gaze - Describes the "come hither" look that newscaster Trudi Daniels has been known to bestow upon individuals that she has taken a sexual interest in. These individuals include Jeff Daniels, Matt Lauer, Drew Barrymore, and others.

Trudi U - Bowling Green University, where Trudi "News" Daniels attended college.

Trudi’s Turkeys - Describes film, music, or other cultural art recommendations that were affirmed by Trudi even though they clearly suck.

Trumpeting - Describes the act of bragging about or excessively praising something.

Tubbie Bye-Bye - A discourteous and degrading method of dismissing callers from any of the interactive games played on the show. See "Teletubbies."

Tugfest - Describes the act of pulling upon one's own nipples. See "H.S.A."

Tullet - Describes a toupee or other artificial hair piece that has been fashioned into a mullet. Generally considered to represent the absolute most ridiculous that anyone can possible make themselves appear. See "Mullet."

Turdburgling - Describes the process of pilfering fecal matter from public restrooms. This act is generally perpetrated by the quarterbacks of opposing football teams.

Turkey Baster - The alleged father of the children of Jodie Foster, Melissa Etheridge, and others.

Turtleneck - Metaphor for an uncircumcised penis, most noticeable prior to full erection. For instance: "He's still got his turtleneck on."

Twelfth Lion, The - Show co-producer Mike Wolters, who is a friend of virtually everyone within the Detroit Lion’s organization, and is considered to be the ultimate expert on all Detroit Lions related issues.

Twenty Questions - Game in which several listeners call in and are conferenced together. Each is then allowed to ask one yes or no question until one of them is able to correctly guess the name of an unidentified celebrity. Despite explicit instructions, the callers usually ask questions that cannot be answered with a yes or a no, make guesses that are in conflict with answers already given, and basically just embarrass themselves intellectually.

U

Uncle Bob - The possibly fabricated uncle of Bruce Hornsby's children. See also "Hey kids, doesn't that guy look like uncle Bob?"

Under Suspicion - Label applied to anyone that is behaving in a manner thought to put their sexual orientation in doubt. For example: Mike Clark going to see "Lord of the Dance" put him "Under Suspicion".

Upskirting - Describes the practice of using hidden cameras to surreptitiously record the pelvic region of unsuspecting females that are wearing skirts.

V

Valby, John - See "Dr. Dirty."

Van Allen Radiation Belt - Section of radiation that lies between the Earth and the Moon that theoretically would prohibit a spacecraft from passing through. NASA officials were completely perplexed and unable to offer any rational explanation as to how a spacecraft was able to pass through and reach the Moon, leading Drew and Mike to conclude that the whole space program was actually a fraud that was filmed on a sound stage in the desert.

Vedman Man - Occasional guest on the show that is the personification of Pearl Jam singer Eddie Vedder. Best known for saying "man" after almost every sentence, man.

Venting the Seed Bag - Indelicate metaphor coined by Mike and used to describe the male orgasm. Also "Jettisoning the Pollen."

Very Nice - Describes various degrees of splendor that are differentiated by pronunciation. For instance:

• Ve-ry nice: Mild degree of appeal.
• VE – ry Nic-ah: Moderate degree of appeal
• VEEE - RRY NIZZZ-AHHH!: Absolutely stupendous.

Vomiting Cobra - Metaphor for an ejaculating penis, generally used by occasional Stump Howard guest Emo Fittipaldi

W

Wad Vac - Phrase that describes a sexually promiscuous female.

Wake and Bake - Describes the process of partaking in herbal refreshments immediately upon arising from slumber.

Wallet Sniffer - Describes an individual thought to seek out members of the opposite sex for purposes of financial remuneration only. Such individuals are virtually always women.

We Really Don't Have Much Time, But… - A reverse-psychology ploy designed to convince various celebrities that they are not very important, but that Drew and Mike have nonetheless budgeted a minimal amount of time in order to speak to them. This subterfuge has proven remarkably effective, persuading such individuals to remain on the line whereas they would have hung up under other circumstance.

Weasel - Someone that attempts to use their wit and wiles to gain something.

Weather and Traffic Together - Absolutely forbidden on the show. These topics must be reported separately, the logic being that if you are in traffic, you already know the weather. Listeners are strongly encouraged to report violations of this rule.

Web Girls - Shameless and farsical attempt at letchery by Mike. While designed to convince females to transmit revealing photographs of themselves via email by offering false optimism regarding career advancement opportunities that might be related to such "exposure," it usually quickly degenrates into pathetic begging by Mike as the targeted demographic fails to forward any such content.

What Rippling Muscles - Phrase uttered by allegedly homosexual oriental man in Bruce Lee movie. Frequently used to insinuate that some individual may be homosexual.

What? What? - Phrase used when pretending not to have information about a set of circumstances when clearly one is well informed.

Wheelhouse - Describes a topic or theme in which one purports to possess a skill, proclivity, or other interest. For instance, as Drew is known to be sexually attracted to obese females, it is observed that such whales are in his "wheelhouse." Not necessarily correlated with one's actual ability, as has been confirmed on multiple occasions of the Stump the Staff segment, specifically those involving the "Simpson's" category. See "Stump the Staff."

Where There’s a Chancre, There’s Pus - Another general rule of physics that has been defined on the show. See "If There’s a Hole, Something’s Going In It."

Whew Mama Stinks! - Phrase initiated by a listener email which described an encounter with a rather aromatic and odiferous female. This one caught on rather quickly, and is used frequently in order to describe an unsanitary vaginal area.

Whiney, High Maintenance Listener - Listener thought to be asking for too much. Such listeners are also frequently weasels.

Who Am I? - Phrase first uttered by Johnny Cochran. Invoked on the Stump Howard show and any other time it's deemed appropriate.

Who Am I Day - Friday. During the Stump Howard segment on Fridays only, callers must pretend to be the individual that is the answer to the question.

Who Cares? - Drew's response to any trivia question in which he does not know the answer. Represents an attempt to disguise the fact that the answer is unknown and place the blame instead upon the caller for posing such a question.

Wiggied Out - Synonym for being overly tired, a phrase that began in 1995 with a phone call to sports writer Larry Wiggy. Larry had published a column that was deemed to be insulting to the Detroit Red Wings, and would not submit to an interview with Drew and Mike, supposedly because he was "too tired". Also "Larry Wiggy Tired."

Willis, Wesley - Deranged and demented individual from Chicago that records appalling, so-called "music" in which he basically just narrates a simplistic text over top of computer generated musical patterns that are all quite similar. He is an extremely large and imposing man that is known for head-butting people, especially if he has neglected to ingest his anti-psychotic medication. Song titles include "The Chicken Cow", "O.J. Simpson", and "Drew and Mike." Major disappointment was incurred when it was realized that his "Drew and Mike" song was one of his worst.

Woodstock Bob - The ultimate on-the-road Woodstock correspondent, this gentleman phoned in frequent updates from the Woodstock 99 festival. Despite being a major stoner, he became known for his rather exceptional organizational talents; managing to barter for potable products, smuggle in and sell large quantities of beer, and schedule his daily activities in such a fashion as to permit him to be wherever he needed to be before others that may have delayed his progress. Has since been used as an on-the-road correspondent, offering live updates from the Cannabis Cup in Amsterdam and the Millennium Fire in North Carolina. Billed WRIF $900.00 for his cellular phone bill.

Worlds Away - Virtual world that was invaded by WRIF staff and listeners during the summer of 1998. Originally a quiet and peaceful area, it was overrun and left in ruins by the marauding hordes who crowded the bar, made sexually offensive gestures to the locals, rented apartments and didn't pay rent, and just basically trashed the place.

Wristin' It - Frequently referred to metaphor for male masturbation. Usually results in a "looper."

Y

Y Forum - Internet site where individuals can anonymously ask sensitive questions about race or sexual issues. Questions are occasionally presented on the show. While meant to be a legitimate attempt at education, it is sometimes the target of Clowns. See "Clowns".

Y2K Police - Describes the efforts of Drew and Mikes to control a segment of the populace that are engaging in excessive hyperbole, distortions of reality, and excessive embellishment of concerns over the so called "Millennium Bug." These individuals include a lady that was selling edible furniture in case no food was available, gun store owners that were using end-of-the-world types of advertising to promote their wares, and other such overly anxious individuals.

Yak's Corner - Mike's favorite section of the Detroit News. It is designed for children and features simplified explanations of news stories.

Yeah, Wella Wella Wa - This phrase originated with a live recording of Jimi Hendrix on the BBC, and is used to reference anything that it just too cool for other more customary forms of expression.

Yellow Sun Glasses - This represents yet another dispute about fashion trends. Mike offered the opinion that these accessories would become all the rage on the west coast, and then fade away into obscurity. Much to everyone’s horror, yellow sun glasses rapidly became popular all across the country.

Yodeling - Synonym for oral sex performed on a woman, usually by another woman.

You Drank A Lot - Audio clip used to insinuate that an individual is or was intoxicated.

You-Rhine - The only correct pronunciation of the word "urine." Stems from a sound bite taken from a Detroit city councilman who used this particular articulation of the word.

You Say It, And I Know It - Mike's general excuse for not knowing the answer to a trivia question. Basically represents an attempt to act as though he really knew the answer but just couldn't think of it at the time, when in reality he had absolutely no clue.

Z

Zane, Eric - Guest host while Drew was off having surgery. While there was much negative feedback initially to Drew's absence, it quickly subsided and it is generally accepted that Eric did an admirable job under rather difficult circumstances.

Zinc Cadmium Sulfide - A chemical element that was allegedly sprayed over the city of Royal Oak during the 1970's. This is the often cited excuse for Mike's frequently unruly behavior.

Zip - Drew's original co-host. Left the show due to personal problems after only a few weeks.

Zodicat, Dr. - An allegedly psychic cat that is said to articulate its predictions and premonitions through its owner, who then re-states them in English for the human audience. The cat is the author of "Zodicat Speaks", and is said to comment on a variety of subjects ranging from the weather to sporting events.

Zoophilia - The medical term for people that prefer sexual activity with animals. This is a common topic on the show, and is generally referred to whenever circumstance allows. See "Bestiality."