1. Tattoo a big "P" on the forehead of pedophiles before they get out of prison - This would make these creeps easier to spot when they are unleashed upon society.

2. Moron Farm - A place to send people who are not really sinister or evil, but are simply morons who keep screwing up. John Bobbitt, Richard Gnida, and John Rocker are considered to be prime candidates for such an institution

3. When flying a plane, get up and go to the bathroom once every 10 minutes so that you can be sure that you are not upside down - This idea stemmed from the JFK Jr. disaster in which it was hypothesized that Mr. Kennedy may have become disoriented, and might have actually been flying upside down while under the impression that he was right side up.

4. Implement the "Shrink Rule" - This rule states that any time a psychiatrist or other mental health care professional pronounces someone fit to rejoin society, and the released individual goes on to commit some horrible crime, then the psychiatrist would automatically lose his or her license. This rule is deemed to be necessary due to a plethora of cases recently in which recently deinstitutionalized individuals committed appalling crimes despite being deemed fit to rejoin society.

5. Implement the "Loser Gun Rule" - This rule states that anyone selling a gun illegally would be automatically responsible for any criminal act in which the gun was used. This rule is deemed to be necessary because of all the losers that have managed to illegally purchase guns and then commit loathsome crimes with the weapons.

6. Don’t tell chicks how hot they are - If all guys were able to conform to this massive conspiracy, then chicks wouldn’t know how hot they were and would be unable to cop an attitude. The end result would be more quality trim for everyone. It is acknowledged that the chances of success for this idea are minimal at best, as guys enmasse would undoubtedly forget about the rule and begin thinking with their dicks almost immediately after encountering the attractive female.

7. Institute a licensing process for being in the spotlight - This idea stems from the notion that certain individuals are thrust upon us inappropriately, and such a process would prevent people like Billy Ray Cyrus, Ricky Martin, and other wastes of skin from ever seeing the light of day.

8. Steven Spielberg is on a mission to show hoagie - Drew cites this rather questionable observation as an obvious perception, referring to the movies "Shindler’s List" and "Amistad" as examples where Spielberg needlessly included flopping wieners in the film footage. Note: Mike also suggests that the original footage of E.T. did not contain two fingers touching, but rather two cranks, an observation as of yet unverified.

9. Media mass murder conspiracy idea - This idea states that the media should conspire to portray several fictional cases in which twisted individuals intended to commit mass murder, but were instead cut to ribbons by spectators who happened to be heavily armed. The idea is to put fear into the hearts of such would-be bastards so that they won’t go through with the crime. It is thought that having several females blasting away from their cubicles in an office setting might be a particularly effective method.

10. Make foreigners wait 5 years until being allowed to view the United States Constitution - The objective of this concept is to prevent foreigners from pushing their freedom by arriving on our shores only to immediately become major pains in the ass by demanding all sorts of privileges that are guaranteed by the Constitution.

11. Invent Sleeping Dust - This is actually Mike’s idea, but since it was his only one it seems kind of stupid to create a whole new category and I just threw it in with Drew’s. This idea states that someone should invent some type of chemical that would cause individuals to fall asleep so that we could drop it on protesters in order to shut them the hell up.

12. Jumping up at the last minute - This idea proposed that if an individual were aboard an aircraft that was about to crash, he or she should simply wait until just prior to the moment of impact, and then jump up. It was noted, however, that this particular methodology would be ineffective in the event that the aircraft was a helicopter.

13. Distributing parachutes to all airline passengers - This was proposed as yet another notion designed to increase the odds of survival in the event of an aircraft disaster.

14. Making prison inmates glow - Although a method of actually achieving this has not been defined, it has generally been acknowledged that such a practice would greatly assist law enforcement agencies with the chore of recapturing escaped inmates.

15. Giving money to someone else and telling them to use it to buy Christmas presents for the family - This was proposed (and actually implemented by Drew) as a method for completing the annual Christmas shopping chore while exerting only minimal effort on a personal level.

16. We love pedophiles and baby killers - This is actually more of an observation than an idea. According to Drew, perpetrators of these offenses are frequently let off with minimal penalties upon being convicted of such hideous acts, and as a society we should definitely be penalizing them much more severely.

17. Having the antidotes to biological weapons in your medicine cabinet - That way, if there were ever a conflict involving germ warfare, one could simply ingest the antidote as soon as he or she saw the cloud coming.

18. Ban the manufacturing of purple paint - This was proposed as a method of saving people from their own bad taste. If there was no purple paint, then no one would be able to paint their personal possessions purple.

19. Putting a tag on live animals indicating how many garments they would make - That way, one could make an informed decision prior to killing the animal.

20. Tom Hanks is Into Golden Showers. - Cited evidence of this includes urination scenes in just about every film he's every done, including The Money Pit, Big, League of Their Own, The Green Mile, Castaway, and probably a bunch of others that we forgot about.

21. Make Ice Holes Produce a Credit Card. - This rule would require morons that wander out onto rapidly thawing ice masses and end up needing rescue by the Coast Guard to first put forth a credit card in order to pay for such endeavors.

22. Women At Their Angrist Photo. - An idea suggested by Drew by after seeing a photo of Jennifer Lopez angrily talking on her phone. The idea entails that women carry a photo of themselves at their angriest that a man could request at anytime and the woman would be required to produce by law. An amendum was made later to include additional laws requiring women to carry pictures of themselves at their bossiest and a picture of their mother, to see what they are going to grow into. Drew would later amend this idea to include a photo of the woman crying and a further photo of her screaming at a male.

23. People Slowly Talking Because They Love The Sound of Their Voice - Drew surmised that people who talk slowly do it so that they can hear themselves speak longer. This goes hand in hand with the theory that people that have long hair grow it out to have more of themselves. It's a self love thing.

24. Public Allowed To Divorce 5 Couples A Year - Drew suggested that the general public be allowed to pick five couples a year, preferably celebrities, and force them to divorce. Of course the public would wait until a couple was offically married and then divorce them.

25. Three 911 Calls = Divorce - Once the police had received three 911 calls from a couple, they are to be automatically divorced.

26. Make Baldness Contagious - So that Ben Affleck could be made bald.

27. Colours Hall of Fame - Drew wanted a Hall of Fame for each color. For example, Johnny Cash would be in the "Black Hall of Fame" as well as Roy Orbison and Gary Player.

28. Vote People Out Of The Country - The public should be allowed to vote people out of the U.S.A.

29. Vote People Out Of The NFL - The public should be allowed to vote people out of the NFL

30. Spend A Night With Jackson - A new law to be made where anyone who speaks out or supports Michael Jackson in anyway has to have their children spend a night with him.

31. First Female In A Position - To be declared the first female in a certain employment position, the woman must cry when accepting it. This shall be the standard. The first female in a job should be feminine in completing that task. Otherwise, it's a female with male characteristics.

32. Scroll Woman's Scores in Pink - Scores from female sporting events should be on television in pink. Ideally the scores wouldn't even been shown on traditional sports channels, but instead on the Lifetime Network. This idea is actually credited to Wolters.

32.(a) Woman's Sports Scores - If woman's sports scores absolutely MUST be displayed on television, then the exact same score as the men's events should be printed in place of the actual woman's scores so no men are fooled into thinking the scores are for the men's games. A message can be printed at the end of the display simply stating "Go online for the real woman's scores"

33. Ice Rescue Law - A new law should be made that dictates, when people are rescued after traversing out onto ice, whether it be while ice fishing, snowmobiling, etc, said person cannot state that they are immediately going to return out on the ice, whether they actually going to or not

34. Limited Number of Civil Lawsuits - People are only allowed to set in motion a pre-determined amount of civil lawsuits during their entire lifetime. The basis for this being that NO ONE could've possibly been WRONGED so much more than anyone other individual so as to need so many lawsuits

35. Coverup Tattoos - The use of make-up to cover up tattoos at formal events should be forced

36. FIFO for Luggage Claim - Whoever has had the longest flight should be able to get their luggage first at the baggage claim. The next longest flight would get theirs next, and so on down the line.

37. Drew & Freediving - Drew plans to break the "freediving" record. Drew plans to "train" in his bathtub by going underwater and holding his breath, presumably to show just how absurd this "sport" is

38. If A Female Answers, She's A Slut - If making an outgoing phone call and a female answers, the woman is assumed to be a slut until proven otherwise.

39. Coverup Tattoos - The use of make-up to cover up tattoos at formal events should be forced

40. Player Muzzles - Each professional sports league should have an allotment of five muzzles to install on five players in the league with the point being to shut them up. Ideally the biggest blabbermouths and players who are full of the largest amount of hot air would be muzzled. Idea inspired by NBA player Ron Artest.

41. Employer Pension Dead Beat List - All consumers should band together and keep a list of employers who do not live up to their pension commitments. Companies that are on said list or in general don't employees well, are to be abandoned. Likewise companies that treat their employees well would be rewarded with further business.

42. Can't Sue Cops - A new law would be made stating that citizens could not turn around and sue cops who give them a break

43. Child Support Money Pool - All child support money would be pooled together into a single fund. In order to distribute the money, the total amount would be divided by the number of needy children and then the money would be divided evenly. The main impetus behind this would be so that women who trap rich men would not be able to get more money for doing so, although rich men would still contribute more to the pool. Conversly, if a woman ends up knocked up by some poor loser, she could still support herself. No mother would have incentive or disincentive to trap someone. All child support created equal.